What Now

[GFI]

Hi - on the the dating fora (???) - I'm not sure you should assume that H is going to follow through with anything from here.

When I was in my immediate post-bomb stage I registered on a few of those sites out of curiosity more than anything - to see what the grass over the other side looked like - just in case.

Actually, it served the purpose of making me realise I really didn't want anything like that or to share my life with anyone other than my W. And actually, I would probably run a mile if anyone showed an interest in me via that route! Remember, folks usually have to write something in a bio to get registered and they're almost always going to write something which they think will be perceived as attractive.

I know the situation is slightly different here but similar dynamics/reasons might apply.

Anyhow - they're my thoughts FWIW...

Best - GFI

[Lkyguy]

Great advise so far...I am going through the same type thing w my WAW...they are on a roller coaster also...they are scared & confused also...If you can keep the positive changes going & let him find his way on his own you have a real shot..........you can only change you but REAL changes in you, always inspire changes in him....now if I can take my own advise

[grdn24grl]

Thank you all for everything, you are keeping me sane. Just wanted to let you all know that I have been keeping up with your posts and see changes and reactions, I just don't know what to share so I don't post a lot, I'm sure as I get more experienced I will be able to give more advice and support.

[grdn24grl]

You're all going to yell at me. . . my route to work takes me by our house (not on the street but you can see it) I've been doing well not to peek, but this morning I saw another car there, besides his and his room-mate's. I am telling myself that it is his room-mate's girlfriend's or another friend's car, but my stupid head isn't letting that sink in. ARRRRGGGGGG! This is so hard!!!!! I can't stand not hearing from him. I was trying to send a text that just said "Hi", but for some reason it's not going through. Is it ok to call just to say "hi", since there hasn't been any contact in a week? Or do I just leave sleeping dogs lie?

[grdn24grl]

[bhopeful]

I'm sorry that no one got back to you on this. Did you end up calling?

My advice would have been not to call. Your motivation for calling or texting would have been wrong. It seems like you wanted contact with him after you saw the car or were you thinking of it before you saw it? Either way, it probably wouldn't have been a useful conversation.

How have you been doing with your GAL activities?

B

[grdn24grl]

I was trying to send it before (actually the day/night before), but then really wanted to send it after. Just simply said "Hi" that was it. I called our phone service to see if there were any outages (that has happened before) and there wasn't any so I did call him - expecting/hoping he wouldn't answer, but he did (on the 2nd ring) & it caught me off guard. I told him I thought it would just go to voicemail, that I was just calling to say hi, since we hadn't talked for a while (upbeat and perky). Then I asked if he was having trouble with his texting too (friendly), he gave me some story about it, basically the service has been removed or something like that, I didn't really care, I pretty much figured that. I was at lunch and said I had to get back to work, he said he would call later (his usual good-bye). It was just good to hear his voice. Not very constructive, but not negative, at least it was contact.
GAL slowed down a little, this weekend was pretty lonely friends canceled on me, but I kept myself busy getting things for my apartment (I was getting tired of looking at blank walls), hanging pictures, read a lot, watched tv (football mostly).

[bhopeful]

It sounds like everything turned out alright. Good job on staying upbeat on the phone.

I know it's a real bummer when friends cancel. I'm glad you were able to find something else to do though.

[grdn24grl]

Group was wonderful last night. We had to give a "gift" to everyone in the group. I received a lot of strength, friendship, and the wish that I find someone who will treat me with the respect and love that I deserve. It was very, very emtional. I've only been going a little over a month, and for these women to give from their hearts, and with such sincerity, meant sooo much to me. I am so glad I found this group, it's a great esteem builder, and I've been learning a lot about myself (besides it gets me out of the apartment). I Just wanted to share that.

[grdn24grl]

I called him, to see if I could stop by the house and pick something of mine up on the way home from work, he said he wasn't sure if he was going to be there or not. Part of me is hoping he's not, but part is. I'm trying to psych myself up to act "as if", if he is there. Do I just go pick the stuff up and leave (act like I have plans) or linger if he shows interest?