All Hope is lost/Help - Part 2

[Evie]

Jen_Jam,

Thats for your input. 2p's worth, I like it....

I feel like a real wet blanket. I hope I haven't back slid too much?

I have really learnt alot from last week and will definately be much stronger from now on. I did feel really sorry for him as you said. I felt I couldn't be hard on him when he was trying to reach out to me. I now realise i'll do more harm than good. Imagine if we didn't have this board with good friends to point out our mistakes.

H is away on holiday this week. I spoke briefly to him yesterday afternoon and too S2. S1 was out playing, so I didn't expect to hear from them again last night. Now if it was me, I would call once or text a message and leave it at that if the recipicant didn't pick up, but not H! I was out last night (as I am every night this week, GAL!!). As i have said before, I think H now realises when i am out b/c he will continually call until I answer, well last night I couldn't turn phone off b/c D was out and needed to let me know when she wanted to be picked up, in the meantime H called me 4 times and texted me 3!!! I know it was S1 wanting to talk to me, but sometimes I just feel like they expect me to there at their beck and call. I didn't answer the calls, just sent a text asking what the problem was, were the boys ok? H replied said S1 wanted to speak to me could he call? I sent a text saying, I couldn't talk now and would speak in the morning. I was in the a restuarant with a friend, goodness knows what she thought. She did say she thought he was a bit dependant on me?

To be honest his constant contact is pushing me away, he is the one sending mixed signals and becoming needy as I see it. When we first met, he did all the chasing and the pursuing and I let him... 25yrs is right, I don't want the left over scraps, I don't want my old marriage or the way we both were.

Jen - How quickly or what response did you get from H when you did the lack of sympathy? Was he reaching out to you as well?

I don't want to play mind games, that doesn't work for me but I hope I have gained some control back this week, I'll get through xmas ok. It's my B'day next week, so i'm just focusing on that for now and new year at my SIL & BIL's (H's brother). BIL phoned H and said that the boys and myself were going there for NY eve, would he like to come as well as he would be most welcome. H said he would let them know. To be honest I thought he would have plans (he may well have), but I don't want him there on NY. It would be crisis time again if he were to come. Cross that bridge nearer the time, b/c I don't think he will come.

X Eve