Love, PAIN and the whole crazy thing!

[mcol]

You don't have a new wife who has a new friend. You have an old wife who's having an affair. Many affairs are born out of a highly stressful situation that makes the affairee question their outlook on life (or "frame"). That doesn't make the affairee unique and doesn't require special handling.

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!! I know you guys are right but this is like watching my life go down in flames and it burns, burns, burns....

You've said your W and the OM talk on the phone. How often do they see each other? How much time do they spend together? Do they go to movies together (i.e. dates)? If you told your W that her R with the OM is inappropriate and has to end, how would she react?

Put it this way...she is spending the whole day with him on the anniversary of her father's death...I think. Right now, I have the brick wall tattoo on my forehead for running into it so much.

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! I can't take this you guys. I see everything you are saying even though i don't want to see it. Yes, she puts me on the defensive when we talk, she says she would not stop talking to him and she does not care what everyone else thinks.

WHAT THE FU***!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so pissed at myself, and just pissed in general for having to sit in another country and deal with this for the next three months, it is overwhelming.

Pretend it's two or three months ago. If your W had taken legal steps to separate your finances and accused you of having an affair, would your reaction be to want a fast divorce (which was her reaction when you did that)?

No, I would have been like WTFO??? Kind of like I am now.

Have i said this...AAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!! My other fear in this thing is losing her whole family as I have grown very attached to them. Due to my kids I know they will always be around but I am having the proverbial rug yanked out from under me.

Dang...you people are so right and I need to get my head out of my a$$. I am going dark with her although I am not sure what good that will do as I am over here and she has all but forgotten me anyway.

If I have not said this yet...this is hard but I thank all of you for helping me take off my blinders. I know my life is worth than her and I will continue to live it for my kids but this stuff sucks really bad.

I guess it is time to get my big boy pants on and start living my life as if, 180 and LRT style.