I don't want to dissuade you from pursuing MC if you feel your W is truly being sincere in going to C. But I will say from my own experience that if she is still involved with OM then MC will most assuredly prove futile. My W agreed to go to MC with me right after the bomb, but I now know it was only a pretense to be able to say to others that "she tried everything" to save our M. But after four sessions she decided she had had enough (we were only just beginning to get to heart of the matter -- the infidelity) and changed her tune. She declared to our MC that she was done, that her mission was accomplished, which was only to help she and I communicate better as divorced parents. (MC and I are both to this day dumbfounded and disgusted.)
After nearly six months W is still clinging to her basic stance, that she will not change her mind and there is nothing I can say or do. She hasn't been back to any C, MC or IC since.
As long as the WAS is still embroiled in the A, they will have the OP continually stroking their ego, and the spouse will see no real reason to admit their faults in their M, and thus have no incentive to improve themselves or repair what is really wrong in their life. Instead, because there is "nothing at all wrong with them", they will conclude then that the fault must lay entirely with the LBS.
I am convinced that my W merely used the pretense of MC as a ploy to buy time and, more importantly, to have an excuse to plead before a judge.
