Tonight was fun - W seemed to enjoy herself too, and she even told me
We went out for dinner together with D, which was crazy as usual. We talked a lot, laughed, played with D - We all seemed to have a good time. Afterwards we went to Target to look for something W's sister had suggested for on of her kids, so we pushed D around in a cart for a while. W picked out a bunch of toys for D, letting her play with them to make sure she liked them. She also bought me DVD of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, which I was talking about being the perfect Christmas movie. Then she asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and asked if a camera would be okay. She took me over to where they were and asked me which one I wanted - I felt pretty bad having to pick one out, since I know W has no money, so I just told her what I would like as far as features and such and left it to her to decide.
We got back to W's house and gave D a bath. D pooped in the bath, so I ended up getting her ready for bed while W cleaned up the poo. We played with D for a while, and W asked me if I wanted to watch Borat with her - She had watched it last night, but said it was good. So, after D went to bed we put the movie on and had a good laugh together. I don't think I've seen my W laugh that much in a long time.
Afterwards I excused myself as it was getting pretty late and W was getting sleepy. Usually when we go out to dinner together on Tuesday's I leave by 8-8:30. Tonight it was after 10 when I left. While I was getting my things together and putting my coat on, she just stood there with me and talked - When I was done, she reached out to me and hugged me. I'll admit that I probably went too far squeezing her butt a little and rubbing her back under her shirt, but she didn't say anything about it. She gave me the DVD and kissed me as I was leaving - I put my arm around her and sort of rubbed her tummy and she giggled. I asked her if I could play with her tummy button and she was okay with it - Yes, it sounds really weird, but she would normally freak out at the prospect of me touching her. She got a little wiggly and told me that she didn't think I was going to 'accost her tummy', but I think I just over did it - She certainly wasn't mad about it at all, if anything, she's still uncomfortable about that part of her body after having D. We kissed a few times, ILY'd and she told me she had a lot of fun as I was leaving.
I have no idea why she didn't complain about me touching her - W is very sensitive to being touched and even when we were together and happy, she was often very uncomfortable with it. So, if nothing else, it's a sign that some trust is coming back, even if it's going to take a while. I also don't get why she initiates hugging and kissing every time we're together - We were never particularly affectionate like that. It wasn't as if I would hug her when I got home, or anything. She seems to want it and enjoy it, so I do my best to make her feel safe and loved, so she knows she can do it again.
Overall I think the evening was positive, but I'm a little uncomfortable and feel like I maybe overstepped something at the end. Hopefully that didn't cloud the calmness and ease of the evening in W's eyes.
Oh, she also told me that we're going to her Mom's house on Sunday to make cookies for Christmas. Fun stuff.
