Time for honesty & truth for a new beginning pt 2

[phbear316]

Oh SG

I hope i can do this, i really do, I feel right now i having my breakdown time, as i sit here and type, i can't stop crying, and shaking.

I know i have to pull myself together. I know I have to do this.

I can cap off mil very easily. I can tell he not to talk to him about us. Very easily. She did promise she would not instigate conversation, and i do believe her.

I will try my hardest not to call or text him. I will I get the feeling he wants to call me he has said numerous time he will call me and he has, H said last night he promised to call me and today lets see i spoke to him 4 times and for 40 minutes, the longest in a very, very long time. When i said to h what is planned for tomorrow h said he was going to call work and fish, and i said that sounds good some fishing h says don't worry i will call you, i said ok. I hope he will but trying so hard not to get my expectations up very high, trust me. for i know after he spoke to me i can guarantee he called her.

I am afraid and not ashamed to admit it. I am afraid i will make the mistakes to make him go away for ever.

I just love Joel Osteen's voice, find it so soothing. I have to upload some new podcasts and i have his book to read

I so want to do this, i truly do. I just hope i can

bear