I would say yes, to a certain extent, teaching young men to care about the wants of a woman, albeit only noble women, was a way to gentrify society. It was a double-edged sword. Since love had no place in marriage, the love for another became a strong distraction. But divorce did not exist, and while it was taken seriously, I believe it was played like a game, with few men actually winning favors in the bedroom from the object of his desire. Probably all the while he is courting the highborn lady, the young knight was screwing some wench whose whims he cared nothing for in the field.
I like your mother's point not to confuse freedom with libertinism. (I believe that is the English word for it.) That is very true, and it is very common.
