I don't remember which comedian said it, but it's true. There are 3 stages of life for a woman -- baby, babe and bubba. And while women may think that can trick men with plastic surgery and creams, everyone knows when a woman is over 50. She's a bubba, as sure as a 20 year old does not resemble a 10 year old.
I think your wife is trying to fight aging by seeing herself through the eyes of lovers. That is, the mirror and the camera are no longer too kind, but in the eyes of a lover I am young and beautiful. Nice idea. but the reality is that yeah, they don't mind spending time with her, flirting with her, and even having sex with her. But they are not likely to buy the package. So if she is so foolish as to throw away the life she has, she will have a hard time replacing her marriage. Divorcing dentist is much more likely to date a marry a 30-something than your wife. He knows when he eats dinner with her that she is a grandmother.
The only person your wife is fooling is herself. And maybe you. Cuz the world knows it.
That is so true. My wife is very vain, and greatly struggles with aging. Having a 29yo boyfriend who totally validated her, and told her constantly how hot she was, felt good to her, understandably. But it wasn't real. What she had in our marriage, with me, was a real love, and that's what I told her. I waited over two months before I said this part of it, because I was told you're NOT supposed to put down OM with insults, as it would only make her defend him. But after two months I couldn't hold back any longer, and I looked her in the eye and said "_______ , look at me. I want you to remember this moment -- this date -- even if we don't make it. ______, he's only in it for the sex. His love for you isn't real. I know it feels good, but it's not real. My love for you is real, and it's respectful, and it will be there when you're 50, and when you go thru menopause, and when you're 60 and 70 and 80."
How old was she at that time? Surely not 50! But wow! That's like getting to play in the Superbowl if you're a guy. The point is, most men won't say no to sex if the woman wants it. It doesn't mean he wants to marry her and live with her for the rest of his life. It means he doesn't mind sharing a moment of pleasure. Nothing more. I doubt Bomb's wife thinks a moment of pleasure here and there is all she will get from any of these men. but she is deluding herself.
Sara, amen to the validation thing. This thread is getting ridiculously long, but if you go back a bit, you'll see the naked picture part of my story. So the growing old thing is a big part of it, for sure. As is mid-life crisis, menopause, grandmotherhood, blah, blah, blah.
Choc, I hope she chooses me, of course. Why? I guess because I know that her best chance of being truly happy is by staying with me. If I ever come to the realization that that is no longer true, then I'll stop trying.
She had to work last night until about nine. She called me around seven. She wanted to remind me that she was working until nine, and that she needed to stop by the grocery store on the way home. Then she asked me how my day was. I told her that it was a long day, I was kinda whipped, and that I might be in bed when she gets home. Maybe it was my imagination, but I almost detected a hint of disappointment in her voice.
This morning I said goodbye, see ya later. She gave me a detailed rundown on her day and what time she would be home. She sounded a little down.
She has not talked to the OM in over 24 hours.
Yesterday, I think I started to let go of my fear a little...
Me: 51 W: 50 M 24 yrs EA: since Apr 06 S22, S26, S28 ILYBNILWY:Nov 07
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden
Choc, I hope she chooses me, of course. Why? I guess because I know that her best chance of being truly happy is by staying with me. If I ever come to the realization that that is no longer true, then I'll stop trying.
Because if that's the case, then you need to fight for her, with everything you've got. And she needs to SEE that, consistently, from you.
Choc, I just wanted to say, thanks for sharing your advice and your stories with bomber and with us. I know this sounds kind of weird, but I'll say it anyway. I'm really proud of you.
How old was she at that time? Surely not 50! But wow! That's like getting to play in the Superbowl if you're a guy.
That's not really true. I've had quite a few guys in their 20s hit on my dating profile. MILF is very popular these days. Although I would imagine that they are just looking for some experienced sex or something like that, it wouldn't be as easy to predict what would actually happen if I hooked up with one of them (not gonna happen -lol). Human psychology and chemicals are odd.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Yep. My great-uncle left his very attractive and 20 years younger wife for someone older than him, with whom he went on to live happily ever after. Exwife is very philosophical about it. I shake my wee head, but yes, there's no predicting attraction.
And hairdog, I totally agree. Choc, you are an inspiration.
