My H is also having an A with a co-worker. He moved out a week ago to "sort things out". I have known about A since Oct. 2001 and my H has tried at least 6 times to end it with her. Unfortunately, he was unable to make it last and was drawn back to her each time. Now that he is out on his own, I am sure he is seeing her. Butterfly is right, they do become addicted to OW. Even though my H has seen his OW has lied to him, was contacting another guy while telling my H he was the only one, etc, he just couldn't stay away from her. She always manages to tell him some story that he believes. My H said he moved out because he doesn't want to hurt me any longer while he figures out what he wants. As much as I miss him, it has helped. I now don't ask him about her at all. I pretend she doesn't exist. It helps me a lot to do that. You should really insist that your H not talk to you about how he feels about the OW. He should speak to a therapist or someone else about it. It is not fair to you to hear these things. I have heard all these things from my H and they are the most painful things to hear. I cannot imagine what you must be going through after placing your trust in him enough to take him back. Let him know how you feel and tell him you don't need to hear any more about her. You and your children have been through enough.
