Thank you for your post mojo. I decided to put this here. My cow sees them all as boys, some are just more naughty than others(sigh) and it kills me to have to give up and take them back to the pound but I have learned that I don't do anybody any good if I don't care for my own bunny.)
I understand. My wolf sees them all as bunnies. All. The female I am spending time w/ now, has been a dancer, a prostitute, and is currently in corporate sales. Her dad taught her about the birds and bee's, by making her watch him have druken sex w/ his then girlfriend when she was 13. Im informing you of this because there are very few who would see any bunny at all in her. Its ALL I see.
LFL should act more "strong bunny" in relation to her H, then I agree AND that is why I was trying to communicate that you taking on the role of semi-dysfunctional top for her H and smacking her down to "weak bunny" with your post was NOT helpful. I didnt smack her down to weak bunny. Thats putting way to much responsibility on me, and none on here for her actions/reactions.
I dont see what was dysfunctional about my first post. Ive reread it several times and dont see any disrespect. Im sure my tone wasnt soft flowery or touchy feely. Im really busy, and that causes me to be even more abrupt. LFL choose to respond with 'weak bunny' probably because Im sure it has been very effective for her for a very long time, in getting men to back off and start placating. Probably worked on her dad.
Women are very good at making you feel bad for 'hurting their feelings'. Its MANIPULATION. Dont fall for it. Her feelings are VERY resiliant. I recommend you test out how resiliant they are. If her crying controls you, your done. If her anger controls you, your done.
Im not responsible for how she responds to me. I am responsible for adjusting myself if I get a response I dont like. Thats the definition of a 180. She responded with weak bunny and it gave me the opportunity to respond again. It also informed me of some things. You just have to pay attention and use some discernment, instead of reacting and thinking about yourself.
However, me telling LFL to "woman up" will not communicate that either. RHW thought it was appropriate to say to the new guy here who is going thru an A. I didnt see any men tell him to go get what he needs somewhere else or move on of dump that B!tch, or anything like that. I see women do it A L L THE T I M E.
What if I told you that you should allow yourself to be more vulnerable and act more "strong puppy dog" in relation to women? Lets say, I believe you. what will that get me?
I think thats just a ruse to get a man to show some softness, so you can kick the puppy and see if its wolf inside (reassuring) or if its really puppy. (icky) But I am willing to listen and ponder.
I killed my puppy in order to be able to accomplish what I did during the first seperation. I put him in barrel of water and held him under till he stopped wiggling, then I slowly chopped him up into small pieces with a paring knife, and fed him to the swine. Then I snapped my wolf to heal and set the stallion to get x back. If she slipped for a second the wolf would growl. Would you take my advice? I no longer know how, even if I believed it would be a good idea. If she wants to see puppy or monkey, she can watch me play with my nephews.
Would another guy telling you to "man up" be helpful in that regard? I told myself. I did man up. I look to no one for no thing. That is attractive to a woman. A puppy that needs to be trained out of his ....mmmm lets say sexual insecurity.... in not a panty twister. So I 'man up' and I dont care about any one woman enough to get angry at her. I know she is not going to care enough about me, if I enter the cave or step in a trap, or break a leg in a gopher hole whilst running across the plains. Heck she has been told and taught that is perfectly acceptable. So while I dont care about Relational Equality, I WILL enforce Relational Equivalency, since I have no power over its antagonist.
just because Women love searching for the puppy doesnt mean they really want to find it. I give them what they need, and I get what I want. Seems fair to me.
I slipped when my wolf slipped the leash and got ahold of x in anger. Look what my mistake got me. I have no desire to appear vulnerable to a woman in my life. It gets no reward that I can feel or justifies the cost. I dont rail against it, I accept it.
Mojo, Before I was married I had all these monkey games that I used to LOVE to play. I loved meeting and playing and having fun and learning about the woman. Man they were fun. Jabber jabber jabber, tickle poke play. I did it because it was fun for both of us but mostly because it was fun for me. Now... knowing what I know... the monkey is just an excuse to get the bunny petted. I dont pet the bunny. Not my job. It would be very unfair of me to reassure the bunny that the wolf will not eat her when he gets hungry. It would be very unfair of me to suggest to the monkey that the wolf wont snap off her arm when the hair pulling and jabbering get painful. I may wish I wasnt that way, but that is what I did.
When you did your inner child thread I sent out a pic of young tarzan to some people to see if they agreed that was my inner child. My mom sent back a picture of xmen's Iceman and said 'No. this is your inner child.'
LOL.
oh... when you respondedc crankily to me in the post where you said CLUE IN, that was a woman. much more attractive then a weak bunny. I liked it. I may or may not agree with what you said, but I can respect it.
I believe that you would like to see more puppy from me, because its always the dichotomy that gets womens interest (peoples?)
ex. the year my coworker and I dressed like super sexy women and wore makeup for halloween and ended up having to manhandle ruffians in tight skirts and losing our spaghetti stap tops in the process... Ive never been sexually attacked that. ever.
ex 2. of dichotomies. act like you trust them, joke that you dont. Act like you dont trust them, say you do.
acting like you dont, and saying you dont..... even if its the truth...not so effective.... acting like you do and saying you do.... makes LFL (and all the rest of them) not so happy. The logical and feminist part probably appreciates it, but I guarantee the female and biological part Does not. Personally if I cant tell the truth, and say how I feel in a R, and get some reciprocity, well, I lose my interest real quick.
I dont think LFL has a problem with 'girling up', and fixing her hair/nails/shopping. I think LFL needs to be a woman in charge of herself, and find what/why/when she respects her H, and let him KNOW. It gets very tiring chasing toddlers with scisors/drinking glasses.(not to mention dangerous for the toddler, they always fall as soon as you chase them). I just pick up a (nerf) football and bean em in the head and knock em into the pool. [insert gasps of indignation here] And I am totally- completely -actual life done that -serious.
Its better then taking them to the ER with lacerations and puntured thoracic cavities.
