Fifth month of WAW (Thread 4)

You really cleared things up for me....now it's as clear as mud, which is an improvement. In light of what you previously wrote, I don't have a good suggestion as to what you could do differently. Make sure you're fun, happy, confident. Don't be afraid to be sweet to the waitress. If you've previously been obviously hung up on your wife, then be a little less engaged. If the reverse is true, you've been a little aloof, then tell her she looks nice.

Glad it makes sense to someone

Usually when we're together, if I withdraw a little she notices it and questions it - If I seem quiet, frustrated, whatever. She'll ask if there is something wrong. If I am attentive and caring, she never usually says anything bad about it. Sometimes she'll ask me to stop if we're out in public, but other than that she doesn't pull away, push me away or try to avoid it. Hell, I think she initiates 90% of the hugs and kisses we do together.

I always try to compliment her and boost her spirits - I know her self-esteem is pretty much trashed right now. I'm not annoying about it, but I often make random comments about her hair, her clothes and stuff - I told her I thought her hair looked nice the other day, and it turns out she had done something else to it, so that hopefully was a positive thing in her eyes.

She seems to be picking and choosing the parts of our R that she can handle right now. Nothing intimate or romantic (unless you call kissing and hugging romantic), but she still comes to me with problems and will lean on me when she is upset or stressed. I just don't know what it will take to push her over that edge into thinking that she can take that next little step together. Of course, she could also be content with how things are and just want us to be friends, but I don't get why she would be so touchy -feely with me if that is where the imaginary line is.

Nothing was off limits to me. I was a big time pursuer. So I suck at this part. You are close, but not close enough. She still needs to take more steps your way. All you can do is be someone she'd be crazy not to chase

Yep - That's pretty much what I'm doing. She's still in the 'when are things going to back to the way they were' frame of mind right now, so only time can help that.