the one thing I learned from our mc is that a mc, at least most, will not continue to do mc while there is an active affair. as my friend (a therapist put it), if there is an active affair, there is no marriage to counsel.
that said, I think you should give it a shot. how our mc worked (my friend works this way, too, btw), is we saw him as a couple for a couple of sessions, then he saw us individually for a couple of sessions each, then we met back as a couple. it was after about 2 more couple sessions after our individual ones that our mc told us it was time for us to focus on ourselves individually, not as a couple. he'd be happy to work with us re: the kids and such, and my friend actually said couples coaching is a viable option (different than counseling), but while the affair was still active, it wasn't going to continue.
one good thing was that my h kept him as his IC. he never would have gone to see an IC if we hadn't started mc. so I suppose that is the positive that came out of it.
good luck!
Last edited by SallyM; 12/18/0710:04 PM.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
