Where do you feel the relationship stands? Is she still at a point where she could bolt if you come on to strong? Do you talk about a future together? What is the understanding about where your R is heading....towards divorce or towards reconciliation...or just a friendship. I'd know what to suggest if I knew where you stood. Sure, invite for Christmas.
Our R isn't heading in any particular direction right now. No one has talked divorce for two months, we live separate but spend maybe 50% of our time outside of work together and we've not completely severed financial ties.
Right now, I think she would freak if I came on strong really quickly. She tells me that she doesn't want an R with anyone right now (which I know isn't the whole truth), but we certainly have a more intimate relationship than two people who are just friends.
I think W is scared that if we got back together that we would quickly end up back in a chaotic and stressful environment like we were in before. She talks a lot about this, although she takes equal blame for the fact that things got to that point. I don't know why she would even bother talking about it if she wasn't trying to figure she and I/us out. I know she isn't ready for romantic stuff right now - The one time she talked about us trying again she told me that she wasn't ready for that kind of relationship. That said, she says a lot of inconsistent things, so it's hard to get a really good idea of what is stewing in her head.
Basically if I ignore what comes out of her mouth, she is following what she suggested we do to being to get back together - Live apart, work on ourselves, spend time together as a family and take it slow.
Last week when we were together after going out, we talked for a long time and she told me that she forgave me for a variety of things, but she could not forget. She also told me that I needed to 'get over her'. When I left we kissed a bunch of times, hugged and told each other ILY. Last week she told me ILY on her own, that she respected me and wanted me 'close by' when I was looking for somewhere else to live. Heck, I even asked her a couple of times a month ago if we could start living together again and she said she would think about it. We've not talked on that topic since then.
So, it's mostly a whole bunch of mixed signals right now. She responds favorably to flirting and playfulness on my part, but I think she's afraid to let her guard down all the way with me.
