WAW staying, I'm leaving to give her space..(2)

[jab]

Amy,

Point taken. I'm not making excuses or denying my past issues. I've been turning my life around for a better part of a year, i've been trying to reconcile just as long. I did those things at times but not constantly. Anyhow, I've already heard recently from W that the drinking wasn't the main issue with our M. It was a significant part of the problem and the timing of the DUI really sucked (not that there is a 'good' time for it). My 3 biggest mistakes were: 1) drinking & driving, 2) acting selfish, not making my W feel like she was #1, 3) not fulfilling my W's emotional needs.

All of that you quoted is accurate, I own it, I'm working on preventing it from happening again by educating myself and becoming a better person. Like I said, I wasn't always that dark, depressed person with a 'drinking problem'. Two wrongs don't make a right and I've had my fair share of issues with W's actions (she is not an angel). I never spoke or acted disrespectfully of her around my family, friends, or co-workers no matter how I felt about her. I never tried to have an A, I didn't go to nightclubs and 'bar-hopping' without her thinking it was ok. And like I said, it would be one thing if all this started in the past 2 or 3 months but it's been going on longer & W has been putting on 'two faces'. I never did that.

Hey, I know I have to get on with things and work on improving myself. That's what I'm trying to. I honestly do not think I will EVER be that horrible person again (with or without W). I've learned my lesson. I just don't think that it's ok for her to do all that she has done/doing. Can I forgive, sympathize, understand, still love her? Yes. Doesn't mean I can't get angry, doesn't mean that I think it's unjustified, doesn't mean that I need to think that it's OK. I'm done venting now.