Mark, Those are really bad comments. You need to find a way to call a truce in the family. It's not war. You and she may no longer be lovers, but there is no reason you can't be friends. You need to find a way to be friends with her. Maybe not her best friend, as she won't allow that, but at least someone she does not fear. A person she feels safe with. That is a good thing to do at Christmastime.
Perhaps you misunderstood. She had these fears many months ago. I believe that these feelings of fear have passed, especially because she has broken up (as far as I can tell) with her boyfriend.
Life in our home is not hellish. There is little yelling, no throwing things, no name-calling... in fact, we argue less now than we did before she started cheating on me.
