Starting to get it...

[theotherhalf]

ann,
I don't know your sitch as i just jumped on here and started to read this. I can remember my H and I have almost the exact same conversation more than once. Well over a year or two ago. I suppose now this was the start of this damb MLC thing. If only I would have handle things differently. Seen the signs...but what's done is done and there's no going back.

Good luck with you and your H. I hope that all will go as you hope.

H: what are you doing?
M: just thinking. I'm starting to fall asleep
H: what's on you mind? What are you thinking?
M: I just though you wanted to have sex, but you just rolled over and fell asleep. I guess i took more out of you wanting to go to bed early than there really was.
H: Well i did.
M: Then why did you roll away from me and say goodnight?
H: I was just waiting for you to do something.
M: (huh?) I'm sorry, i thought you were just really tired. You fell asleep so i figured you just really needed the rest.
H: it's not like you even want to anyways. If you wanted sex with me, it wouldn't matter if i was sleeping.

he's got a point there. Back before all this started. If he said goodnight, i'd probably crawl up behind him until he turned back towards me or told me he's really tired or doesn't feel like it. it's been a long time since i've done that.

M: Ummm... I'm sorry. I just knew how you had been feeling lately and wanted to give you some rest. Can i ask you something? (maybe i shouldn't have done this, but i wanted to know)
H: yeah, sure...
M: ever since we've been getting closer, you've stopped trying to initiate sex, but you get upset when i don't. Is there a reason that you aren't initiating it anymore?
H: I don't know. I always do it wrong. When i try to hold you and rub your back i just put you to sleep (okay, so he wasn't trying to let me sleep this weekend? maybe? i dunno) and when I just start having sex with you, it hurts/too much too fast. (when i'm not in the mood, like lately, it can be painful if out of nowhere, he just gets on top of me and starts or tries to)
M: I'm sorry you feel that way. Maybe if you just start by kissing me, (somewhere in between helping me fall asleep and jumping on top of me) it would be a good place to start. I didn't realize that when you were hugging me and rubbing my back that you were trying anything. I was so tired that i just fell asleep.
H: i know. (he then rolled over) well, goodnight.