WAW staying, I'm leaving to give her space..(2)

[jab]

GFI,

I'm not planning on telling my wife these thoughts, I had to vent somewhere so I vented on this forum. What you are suggesting is exactly what I hope to do on Thurs, complete trust.

AmyC,

2 months of sobriety is a hell of an accomplishment and I am proud of you but really, you're just a dry drunk at this point

I appreciate your help but I don't think this is accurate. I admit I drank too much at times (it wasn't always like that). I am not a dry drunk anymore, haven't been for quite a while. I don't even think about drinking that much. I haven't 'abused' alcohol since the DUI in April. I've drank a few times over the summer yes but always with W, not by myself and not overindulgence. I do see where the comment is coming from but you don't know my history, you don't know my wife's history. You only know what I posted on these forums. I'm not making excuses for my past mistakes, I just don't think what W has been doing is an acceptable way of acting. If it only started when she asked for D that's one thing, but I'm finding out that W has been acting like a 'single, horny schoolgirl' for quite some time behind my back. Not appropriate for someone who is married w/kids at her age. Two wrongs don't make a right. I've been apologizing for a long time now about my past mistakes, I have been doing what I need/should be doing for a better part of a year now. I've had issues with her going 'bar-hopping' in the past without me, this is not a new topic. There are alot of issues I've had with her in the past that I just 'let go' because I loved her & didn't want her to feel 'controlled'. I'm venting here so I can get it out. I'm just worried that I can only take so much of this and I won't want her back (I won't be able to 'suck it up' anymore).

COG,

"Wife, I'm uncomfortable with the idea of you going out bar hopping just as I wouldn't like my daughter or mother going out bar hopping. I'm just afraid of what might happen, don't like the idea of my best friend being drunk around a bunch of horny men. But I understand that you have the freedom to live your life as you choose, and I need to decide what I'm going to do with the rest of my life."

Maybe I'll say something like that to her. I'm honestly not trying to control her, I want her to have a good time. I even told her last night that I can't control what she does with her free time. Like I said, I've always had an issue with her going 'bar-hopping' without me because of 'a bunch of horny men' around my W being drunk. W knows how I feel about this, it's nothing new. And BTW, I never did that to her. When I went out alone it was almost always over at a friends house playing poker or something & I always invited W to go along if she liked. If I did end up going out to nightclubs or bars she would have the same issues that I am having with her going. That's all I'm saying. I don't understand why it's OK for her and never was OK for me.