WAW staying, I'm leaving to give her space..(2)

[COG]

Jab,

You can vent here. It's okay man, let it out. It suck's, you W is being a little sh?t. You don't deserve this. ARGH !

Okay, now back to business. You want to win the game, you gotta suck it up.

Keeping a list of the positive things is a VERY good idea. You also might think about setting some goals. Check out DR.

Regarding the annual trip. I had to deal with that one too. W used to take kids away for a couple of weeks in the summer with a girlfriend of hers. Myself and the other H would come up for a weekend. Well, it came out in a heated discussion that her real reason for going was to get away from ME. I'm sure that's only part of it, but even after we've reconciled she still goes, and sometimes I get invited up for a weekend. Whatever! I'm not going to waste one minute of my prescious life worrying about that. It's obviously something she enjoys, and needs in her life, so be it. I stay home, cook 2 inch thick New Yorks, play cards, and just do whatever I feel like doing. It's actually turned out to be a nice break for me too.

A little more advice: Be Honest. If she asks you if you care if she goes bar hopping, and you do, then I believe you should tell her so. But not as a wimpering wuss, but as the man that you are. "Wife, I'm uncomfortable with the idea of you going out bar hopping just as I wouldn't like my daughter or mother going out bar hopping. I'm just afraid of what might happen, don't like the idea of my best friend being drunk around a bunch of horny men. But I understand that you have the freedom to live your life as you choose, and I need to decide what I'm going to do with the rest of my life." Spoken casually as you would speak to a good buddy, or a close friend.

It's important to be honest in a way that is not controlling. Setting YOUR boundaries is a good thing. Just make sure you're not setting boundaries for the sake of controlling her.

Hang in there, the testing has just begun.

God Bless,

COG