Need Help/ Suggestions - Part 2

[NoDirection]

When I have given her space, she takes my S away for days at a time without telling me until she is already gone. She is still lying about where she is on top of that. She takes my S to parties with people drinking all the whle he sleeps in another room.

The biggest thing was that she began to determine when I can and can not see my son. That was the final straw. She has been so controlling in every aspect of things that once she did that I have had enough.

She has demonized me for six months with no change in her demeanor. The only thing holding me back, even though the paperwork is being processed, is the guilt I have toward my son. I do not want to deny my a relationship between my wife and my S but when she is denying it to me. What can I do?

I just feel I have ran out of options to save this. My patience is gone and the one thing that was keeping me in it, she is trying to take away from me as well. What is really left...

[Handful of Rain]

BrokenMarriage07, I agree with you, I know how it feels, to be the "bad guy" but I know that I am not! When you have done everything you can to save your M, and it doesn't work out, sometimes the only thing you can do is save yourself, and your kids.

NoDirection, I feel for you, man. I know that separation from my children is the worst of all of this. I think you are right to strike, now, but I think you should go one, further, make sure that you have full custody of your son, make sure that you, no longer allow her to take him out with her. You hear all the time about parents getting D'ed, who kidnap their own kids, and in the state of mind your W is in, anything is possible. If you are that worried about it, do something about it, to make sure it doesn't happen. Man, just put your foot, down. You are still his father, and no matter what happens you always will be. You are in my prayers, bro, take care.

[happy1]

No Direction

I am not totally up to speed on your sit but do you have a lawyer to help you with custody and concerns of kidnapping. More over, your W is bring S to parties, drinking potentially driving? You may need assistance here.

[NoDirection]

I have a lawyer and the paperwork that I have filed has me as the primary caretaker of our S. I am documenting everything and know my otions if she does take off with him.

I know we are through and my focus now is on my S. I am trying to do everything possible to make sure my son is safe...

[Handful of Rain]

NoDirection, that sounds like the right thing to do, just keep on top of the sitch with the W taking your son, and also I agree with happy1, she could be out there drinking and driving with your son, that is one thing, no matter what that I would do my best to put a stop to. Take care, my friend.

[NoDirection]

When I do fight it she becomes irate and sees it as a threat to her. She becomes obsessed and will not stop until she has him. The one time I put my foot down she tried to push me out of the doorway and I ended up pushing her.

I am stuck between a rock and a hrad place on this. If I take off with my son, will it look like I am running. If I stay, it could end up getting physical.

Suggestions???

[Handful of Rain]

NoDirection, what do you think is best for your son? The way she is acting, it sounds like she doesn't have his best interest in mind. I suggest that you stand firm, and if need be, take your son and go somewhere. The time for considering her feelings is over. If you feel she is putting your child in danger, you must act!

As it is, you have not been served, so there is no law against you taking your child and leaving, If she does call the police, then, just explain to them the sitch, tell them that you are filing for a D, and tell them about the danger that she has put your son in.

Don't fight with her physically, just take your son and leave. You have done all you can to save the M, now save yourself and your son. I am here if you need to talk, You are in my prayers. Take care.

[NoDirection]

Rain,
Thanks again for the support. The problem is that she comes home when I am at work to get what she needs and then leaves again. So I have not seen my son since Thursday.

We spoke on the phone and agreed to begin the divorce proces and then began to argue over the terms. She basically wants her life the way it is and me to just go away but yet pay for everything.

She is so paranoid, she will not let him out of her sight. so being able to get away is not the easiest of tasks. I have documented it all and am filing for primary custody so I am still working on it...

[Handful of Rain]

NoDirection, I understand. I know that you are doing everything you can. Hopefully, things will go your way. Take care.

[NoDirection]

I can only pray... She actually did come home last night and left him with me. I believe she went to speak with her lawyer and get her paperwork started.

Part of me questions the divorce but I look at my life with her and do not want it for my son as well as myself. I am sure you can speak about this from experience, no one wins out of all of this. All we get is a second chance at happiness.

I almost feel the same way when I moved out of my house, the uncertainty and not knowing how things are going to play out. I know I will be fine but my S is who I am worried about... He was extremely happy to see me when he woke up from his nap and I could not get enough of him throughout the evening. I just hope I can get many more of them in the future...