Not sure if she's coming to me because she knows I'll make her feel better
Probably. I'm sure OM isn't much into validating and listening.
I struggle with your situation Brit. I'm pleased to see positives in your situation, but my own personal issues creep up when I read this stuff. I couldn't sit and listen to my wife talk about some OM. Does it piss you off at all? I don't think there is anything wrong with erecting some boundaries. If you don't want to hear it, or if it puts a downer on the evening, I don't think it's wrong to point that out. Keeping silent about resentments is part of the problem in marriage. If she was working through issues after the affair was over, that would be one thing, but as long as he's in the picture, it just seems like rubbing salt in your wounds. I'm sure it isn't intentional; you've become like one of her girlfriends, someone she can talk to. Couldn't you indicate that she could find another sounding board for talk about her R with OM?
Take this advice with a grain of salt and see what others think. I've been through this crazy rollercoaster and my perception of how I'd handle things has changed.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
