At times I do wonder why God is putting me on this path and why my W's heart is so hardened... She has always been very headstrong. I suppose once she's had something in her head it's hard for her to let it go. She has some crazy idea that if she sees other people and that doesn't work then maybe we still have a chance many years down the road. So sad for the kids.... I will probably spend New Years Eve with the kids. I know W will be with potential OM. Oh well I have no control over that. Just sucks that for the past 8 years I've spent it with her....
ATM I'm a bit conflicted. I don't know if I want to keep waiting for her or move on. Should I start seeing other people.... I'm so tired of being alone. I want somebody to share things with. Right now W is absolutely refusing to spent a minute of alone time with me. We can't even hang out, watch a TV show or anything. Am I being an idiot continue to wait and wait for her to come around? The only motivation for me right now are the kids. I really want them to have a whole family... I'm so tired of hearing the kids are resillient, they'll adjust. Do the WAS not realize the emotional trauma they go through even though they adjust? I love my W very very much, but you can't make a person to love you back. How long do I wait? At what point do I just give up?
M: 31 W: 31 M: 7 T: 8 S:4 D:2 Bomb dropped: too many to count or remember, 12/17/07 last one S on 9/2/07 W sent off D papers 12/31/07. Me trying to live life and hope she returns one day.
