I thank you all for your replies, we are settling into our new home quite nicely now, we even have a new christmas tree for the new home. No contact from ex, and I don't think there will be any, I can't believe he doesn't want to know where his son is living, it sure does change a person it the mlc that is has changed this man one hundred percent. he and his new wifey have been seen at the old place, not sure what for because I left it clean and ther isn't anything to move, maybe they are checking that we have gone, or he can't believe we have, I don't know and I aren't bothered, but I think they have balls of steel to be seen coming out of the place together in front of the neighbours n all, after what they have done I would have thought they especially him would have hung their heads in shame and not be seen in daylight hours round the old place.
I thank you all for your replies, we are settling into our new home quite nicely now, we even have a new christmas tree for the new home. No contact from ex, and I don't think there will be any, I can't believe he doesn't want to know where his son is living, it sure does change a person it the mlc that is has changed this man one hundred percent. he and his new wifey have been seen at the old place, not sure what for because I left it clean and ther isn't anything to move, maybe they are checking that we have gone, or he can't believe we have, I don't know and I aren't bothered, but I think they have balls of steel to be seen coming out of the place together in front of the neighbours n all, after what they have done I would have thought they especially him would have hung their heads in shame and not be seen in daylight hours round the old place.
Mandyloo, people like that have no balls, honor, or character. Best thing for you to do is put it all behind you.
Braveheart as much as we try to put it all behind us it is hard, as I will tell you the latest, just when we were getting comfy in our new home cracking on and enjoying life up he pops and off we go again. X hasn't has I have said bothered with son since end of march, he sent son a birthday card in august and that was it, son has had some missed calls on his mobile but only because the number was with-held and these calls were like after midnight and in the early hours of the morning., alas it turns out it was his dad, who clearly didn't want son to know otherwise he would have not held his number, son will only answer the calls if he recognizes the number so therefore he hasn't answered the calls and I think there could have possibly been around ten since march. Anyhow I have just had a call from my friends husband, me and his wife used to be quite friendly and close before all this happened with xh and I can see why he as gone to them, but I have to say I haven't seen much of this friend in the last two years as she changed her job and so we have sort of grown apart, but her husband used to drop son off at school for me and pick him up so he is aware of the situation with the ex. anyhow he called and said my ex has just been to see him and said he did know which village we were living in and he didn't know whereabouts, he had no numbers to contact us and he has been ringing son's phone but son won't answer, he as some presents for son for christmas and was wondering if this guy had any idea for getting them to his son, ie he wanted him to drop them off for him, he as told him that he would contact us and see what we say. this is not good enough, he that is the ex has snooped and found out more or less where we have moved to, he is round at my mates enquiring if they know where we have moved to and what my numbers are, he should have my mobile unless he as deleted it,and he darned well wants to contact son after 9 months of not talking, and evicting us from his damn house why can't he leave us alone, I spoke to son and he said he doesn't want to hear from him and he can shove his gifts far and wide, he also told me to tell the guy to let him know he doesnt want to see him, as son said this is so much like last year, ex left it until the last minute to contact son and see what he wanted for christmas, then he took him on a weekend break in march and he hasn't heard or seen of him since. Hope the ex is hurting like son says why bother just because it is christmas he as been alive all last year as well, and then it wasn't important to have a relationship with him so son doesn't want one now. H that is ex has got to have realised he as lost his son, and he has made it worse by throwing us out, this is also the first time he as contacted this friend since we split up, and he went on his own so obviously new wifey doesn't know he is going to friends that were his friends when he was with me. I just know it is all going to erupt again.
Braveheart as much as we try to put it all behind us it is hard, as I will tell you the latest, just when we were getting comfy in our new home cracking on and enjoying life up he pops and off we go again. X hasn't has I have said bothered with son since end of march, he sent son a birthday card in august and that was it, son has had some missed calls on his mobile but only because the number was with-held and these calls were like after midnight and in the early hours of the morning., alas it turns out it was his dad, who clearly didn't want son to know otherwise he would have not held his number, son will only answer the calls if he recognizes the number so therefore he hasn't answered the calls and I think there could have possibly been around ten since march. Anyhow I have just had a call from my friends husband, me and his wife used to be quite friendly and close before all this happened with xh and I can see why he as gone to them, but I have to say I haven't seen much of this friend in the last two years as she changed her job and so we have sort of grown apart, but her husband used to drop son off at school for me and pick him up so he is aware of the situation with the ex. anyhow he called and said my ex has just been to see him and said he did know which village we were living in and he didn't know whereabouts, he had no numbers to contact us and he has been ringing son's phone but son won't answer, he as some presents for son for christmas and was wondering if this guy had any idea for getting them to his son, ie he wanted him to drop them off for him, he as told him that he would contact us and see what we say. this is not good enough, he that is the ex has snooped and found out more or less where we have moved to, he is round at my mates enquiring if they know where we have moved to and what my numbers are, he should have my mobile unless he as deleted it,and he darned well wants to contact son after 9 months of not talking, and evicting us from his damn house why can't he leave us alone, I spoke to son and he said he doesn't want to hear from him and he can shove his gifts far and wide, he also told me to tell the guy to let him know he doesnt want to see him, as son said this is so much like last year, ex left it until the last minute to contact son and see what he wanted for christmas, then he took him on a weekend break in march and he hasn't heard or seen of him since. Hope the ex is hurting like son says why bother just because it is christmas he as been alive all last year as well, and then it wasn't important to have a relationship with him so son doesn't want one now. H that is ex has got to have realised he as lost his son, and he has made it worse by throwing us out, this is also the first time he as contacted this friend since we split up, and he went on his own so obviously new wifey doesn't know he is going to friends that were his friends when he was with me. I just know it is all going to erupt again.
sorry for the lengthy and duplicate post above. what I would also like to know is what the hell he has bought him, he doesn't know his kid anymore, doesn't know what kind of things he likes, or wears or what other things would be suitable, what a w****r he is why can't he leave us b
I am so extremely annoyed now, I was out yesterday and when I arrived home the post had arrived and a card for son, I didn't open it as it looked like it was from my sister and by the way he as told me to open his post and if one comes from his dad he doesn't want to see it, so because it looked like it was from my sister son opened it and guess what, IT WAS FROM HIS DAD. Now I am so annoyed as to the fact ok yes it is christmas but dad hasn't contacted son for over 9 months and he as thrown son and I out of our home, I have only told my real close friends my address and somehow he as found out. Don't get me wrong here I knew he would find out sooner or later as his son is here, but the fact been he didn't want us in his life, he didn't want us in his house, he as been whining to his solicitor that we hadn't given him prior notice that we were leaving and he as been whining to an old friend he didn't have any contact numbers for us, so then why and how as he hunted out our address so soon after us leaving we have only been gone four weeks, it is a case of he doesn't want us there but he needs to know where we or just son are. The card was in his writing but the envelope was not, it had a stamp on as if it had come through the post but there were no signs of it going through the system so someone as posted it by hand. I can't believe he is still winding me up now he as well and truly got me out of his life, what is the point of going to the trouble of finding out where we are when he doesn't want us. I am so annoyed because son thought this was a fresh start without his dad in our hair, he thought this place was a safe haven without the moron and now this. GOOD NEWS IS HE AS SIGNED THE PAPERS FOR THE COURTS AND AGREED TO EVERYTHING, ie that is he has to change son's bank accounts into my name, he has to give us a capped amount of money when the old shack as sold, and several other minor pieces, so he's taken it all the way to the courts and lawyers and in the end he as given me what I asked anyway, what a tool and what a waste of money.
well son and I had a very quiet day yesterday, just my parents and sister and nephew called round, it was enough in our new place can honestly say didn't want a load of mates round letting me know what I still had to do. Quite shocked that ex didn't make contact with son either by calling, text or phone, nothing and all I can put that down to is extreme guilt, the fact that he as put his son out of his home and so now can't contact him and is sat waiting for son to phone him, well I have to say he as a lengthy wait ahead of him. What a shame, that man used to love to see his child's face on xmas morning.
Mandy, I'm glad that you and your son had a nice, quiet day. It was good to see that your family came by for a visit. Yes, it's always hard when you move--you always are unpacking and moving things around for a bit.
I'm very sorry about your son's father. He's the one that has lost out on this deal. He's got a beautiful little boy that needs a man's guidance and yet he's not around. One day, he will need his son and it will be too late to mend the bridges.
I do hope that you and your son have a lovely holiday and may the new year bring you much peace and comfort.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
thanks for your reply snodderly, I really hope you are enjoying the festive season and wish you every good luck for the new year. If I could I would just like to ask you one thing, yes we have moved on and moved out of his place, but what are your thoughts on why he won't make the first move with his own son, surely he must be hurting himself by not contacting his own flesh and blood, what are your views, is it the guilt for what he as done, or do you think he is still so wrapped up in his new wife to have any feelings for his son?
