A bit more journaling before bedtime. We went to the Christmas pageant together this evening. She didn't talk to much but then again she's just getting her voice back after being so sick last week. Once seated she seemed to open up and we chatted about lots of little things, her bringing up subjects which is a good thing.
The subject of the holidays came up, well I brought it up. She's taking the girls and meeting her mom and stepdad at our vacation house after Christmas and through new years. I was hoping to go down for new years just so I could sit on the beach. So I flat out asked if she minded if I came down new years eve. I was a little surprised by the response, "hmm, let me think about that." But it wasn't the words she said it was how she said it, like it wasn't a bad idea and an idea she would seriously consider. So it'll be interesting to see how that plays out especially given my mother has invited her here for Christmas and she is planning on joining us.
Now on the subject I brought up before, dealing with anger, bitterness and frustration. As I sat in the church sanctuary this evening I just stared at the Lord's candle that is always lit. A peace came over me as I sat looking at it then the phrase you are the light, the way the truth popped into my head. Yes there's my answer in how to deal with those harder feelings, turn it over to God.
As for D9 in the pageant, well she did great in her little role. I couldn't help just finding so much joy sitting there seeing all those children and their beaming parents and my little "tinypea" who's gotten so big so fast. Wow it seems only yesterday D11 was in the pageant as a kindergartener!
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
