Thank you for these insights. It truly is a challenge. I can only hope that she notices the effort I have been putting in. I know it is not about me, but about her. I am trying to be patient and that is the hard part. But, I look a the patience she showed me and it gives me hope. As for the holidays she initially invited me from the 24th to the 26th but it has now expanded from the 20th to the 27th. Then she is going to see her family with the kids.
As for what it is like to think of her with someone else, I have nightmares about it. I really do. I hate myself for what I did and I am committed to doing the things that I need to do to help her. I have been working with a DB counselor. It has been helpful. I sometimes want to call her all the time, the counselor, to ask for guidance. But I have been patient and everything she has told me has come true so far, so I am cautiously optimistic. Again, I love my wife and I know I have been attentive to my needs and not hers. I am trying to let me actions speak that she is the most important thing to me.
