Don't know what I'm doing anymore - Help.

[ann25]

Prior to the 'D' bomb, did hubby take a drastic drop on the important'o'meter after the children?

No. he didn't. He's never shown an intense interest in sex. Possibly, if anything, i started doing too much for him because i didn't want him to feel that way.

Did you focus extremely hard on 'being a good mom', possibly at the expense of your attention to him?

Nope. my attention to him never lacked. He has never been unfulfilled sexually. I cook his favorite meals, rub his head and feet, get his things ready for him so he won't have to worry about it in the morning. I always have, he likes it, so i still do. To this day the only time that changed was the 5 months from him asking for D to finding out about EA and deciding to refocus on M.

Now I understand children are important, I have children. But we share our love with spouses/partners and children, many times husbands drop VERY far down on the list.

I have girlfriends that have lost their H to OW because of this. I paid very close attention to how my H was feeling.

Maybe sex for him was very shallow if he was unimportant till you 'needed' something from him, like he is now doing to you?

Not sure the basis for some of this. i think you are missing the point that i was the person asking for sex. I was the one preparing romantic nights and arranging babysitting for the kids. I was the one that was trying new things and reading about ways to please my H. Maybe he didn't care about sex with me, but it's not because i made him feel unimportant.

I read your post. Your W stopped having sex with you after baby. Sorry hun, but I'm not her. Figuring me out won't help you with her. Maybe if you post a little more about your sitch, you'll get some advice that way!

I'll check out that website when i have a chance. thanks!