an xh, his FF, Thanksgiving, MIL, and one psuedo-R

[Dom R]

No, I think he was asking me for help...it's very overwhelming for him...

I suspect this is some variant on "not feeling good enough."


.....



I'm tired of thinking about JD, that's his mess to clean up...I get the weird feeling he's trying to, but not sure why...

I just noticed the interesting contrast here.

JD is "his mess", but his "not feeling good enough", isnt?

Almost seems like it should be the other way around. His own feelings of "not beeing good enough", seem to be more completely to do with him, than whether or not he is involved with someone else as well as you.

Not saying you should not help him if you can... i just thought it was interesting to compare.

PS; traditionally, when someone betrays another... it is the betrayer that usually attempts to go to great lengths to ask for forgiveness. to "prove they are sorry. It would strike me as... odd.. if not actually 'wrong', for the injured party to go out of their way to "prove their forgiveness".
Seems like it would makes for a really, REALLY bad relationship dynamic. Person screws up... other person bends over backwards to show them it's ok that they screwed up?


but anyway, getting back to a simpler track of things

Maybe you even forgave him too easily, and so he somehow feels that something is wrong? That apologies, etc. dont quite fit, becuase you dont seem angry about it... so he cant apologise... so he still retains the guilt?

Maybe you should have some kind of "closure" get-together... where you actually yell and "get mad" at him for any remaining hostility that you have about it... or at least revisit the "hurt" that it caused you... and then he could feel like apologising to you, actually meant something?