No, I think he was asking me for help...it's very overwhelming for him...
I suspect this is some variant on "not feeling good enough."
I've also been taking the approach of letting him comfort me, telling him that it's working, what's working, how it helps, etc., and explaining that it just takes time, but I am doing better. (All true.) This has been getting some decent results. (Got several ILY's the past week, lots of hugs and kisses, even fairly frequent semi-cuddling, lots of him validating my feelings.) I'm also not 'hiding' my emotions anymore, just trying to talk about them in a more respectful manner to him.
Anyway...guess I'm looking for some good reading material on recovery for his end. I don't think he realized that his own guilt was restraining him until a couple of days ago--I point-blank asked him if that was case, and it sparked a good discussion.
I do have a copy of 'After the Affair', and, IIRC, it deals with both sides. I should take another look.
I'm tired of thinking about JD, that's his mess to clean up...I get the weird feeling he's trying to, but not sure why...
Anyway, if I can give him some methods, or find a way to explain it to him (non-confrontationly), he will listen. I just need more information.
