I really wanted to get out the spat (or two) we have had the last few days, but let's just say we're both scorekeepers to some degree and the kids are kinda driving us crazy and when I got my personal time Fri night, he wanted personal time at the drop of a hat on Sat night. I tend to get super pissed off when plans change last minute and I had asked him Sat morning what he had had planned and he said nothing. (I wasn't clear enough as in, "when can I pay you back for the couple hours I had to myself last night?") Well, this pissed me off and I had rented a movie for us to watch and everything, but so be it, I said go for it, take your personal time and he did. I went ahead and made dinner and ate with the kids while he was out in the garage. The next morning, the crankiness hung around for a while, but started to subside. Last night, kids were running around like banshees and he up and said, "Mommy and Daddy are going to watch a movie in the other room, what movie do you two wanna watch?" and he got them set up so we could have some alone time. I noticed the effort and appreciated it. The movie, (Superbad), was mostly good. We definitely laughed in parts (we were old Freaks and Geeks fans.) I was offended in places, but tried to suppress the prude in me and go with the flow. I had to practically force myself on him afterwards, but did. He wanted to watch the blooper reels then go to sleep! Anyhow, we had simple but good sex and then he went to bed. Oh, before the movie we were talking about scheduling around Christmas and I told him that I had to go ahead and let the cat out of the bag about part of his present and I told him I was planning a night out for us. Another spat (small one) followed because his reaction really irritated me. Didn't crack a smile, didn't say thanks, honey, didn't even crack a leud joke about what he was gonna do to me, just seemed very business like and "what'd you have in mind," etc. After one or two exchanges like that, I said, "come on, won't that be fun, aren't you happy?" I was letting it known that his reaction was not what I was hoping for, sorry, and he said he was really stressed about the kids and work, and especially money right now and he didn't want to "waste money that we don't have on a hotel room or something." I mentally threw my hands up in the air and said, I refuse to fight about this anymore, let's just put the kids to bed. Finally, they were asleep and we finished talking and finished the movie. Showing excitement and appreciation and giving compliments must be SO uncomfortable for him. I hate that and I know our differences there cause tension. Anyhow, we sort of decided on a date, he sort of said, ok, that'll be fun and we finished the movie. Only other R talk I gave him was after sex I said, "When dd and I left for the Nutcracker, you didn't tell me I looked nice." I know this is not what he wants to hear, but I am hoping that it will help him learn what I need from him. He sighed and said, you always look nice and mumbled a rather defeated "sorry." I said you know while I work on bringing out my "hot" side, which benefits both of us, I'd love it if you could work on bringing out your "romantic" side which also benefits both of us. He agreed.
Today, he called JUST TO SAY I LOVE YOU! He didn't sound like he had a big smile on his face or anything, but just kind of a flat voice, but I didn't care, I knew he was doing it specifically to make me feel good and I appreciated it.
