Lol! That's what I love about you MJ. You go in 20 different directions sometimes (I guess I can relate).
Well, in my own quest for differentiation and maintaining my own life (sanity), I am going out with my girlfriends on Friday and can't wait. I think I'll go out and buy a sexy-hot outfit and parade around H for a while before I leave. I refuse to go back into my frumpy shell just because our M is basically "platonic". That's right BF, youngest of six is stomping foot on ground and going off in a huff. Too bad so sad.
And MJ, stop eating that horrid rice pudding. It'll just make you bloated.
Well, in my own quest for differentiation and maintaining my own life (sanity), I am going out with my girlfriends on Friday and can't wait. I think I'll go out and buy a sexy-hot outfit and parade around H for a while before I leave. I refuse to go back into my frumpy shell just because our M is basically "platonic". That's right BF, youngest of six is stomping foot on ground and going off in a huff. Too bad so sad.
Have fun! If you would like to do an experiment in support of my strong bunny theory, try this. Get all dressed up in your outfit and then just act very calm and content rather than excited and happy. Then report back to me with your H's reaction.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Will do, MJ. Although I think I usually act like that when I go out with my girlfriends. I never act all excited and happy, more "cool". I can almost guarantee what he is going to say, "You look good. A little too good. Make sure you don't flirt with any boys. Have fun." That's what he always tends to say and then he sends me on my way. And he's always fast asleep when I come home.
Will do, MJ. Although I think I usually act like that when I go out with my girlfriends. I never act all excited and happy, more "cool". I can almost guarantee what he is going to say, "You look good. A little too good. Make sure you don't flirt with any boys. Have fun." That's what he always tends to say and then he sends me on my way. And he's always fast asleep when I come home.
So, my theory does mostly hold true. When you act kind of bunny, he acts kind of Alpha/Daddy/St.Bernard. I mean the line you predicted that he would use could have been cut right out of an episode of "Father Knows Best". Okay, why don't you take it one step further. For instance, before you leave ask him to do something directly that is in protect/cherish mode. Like ask him if he thinks your tires are okay or signal for him to help you with your coat as you leave. Then thank him with some kind of chaste but physical bunny gesture. The point here is to make him "aware" of you physically without being assertively monkey but also without being comforting Cow. Bear in mind that I'm not suggesting that you act "fake" bunny any more than I would, for instance, suggest to Chrome that he act "fake" wolf. It's more a matter of being comfortable with appropriately manifesting the animal that already exists.
I may be totally off-base in saying that this is an accurate Mars to Venus translation of the advice BF has been offering but I do know that part of the problem that people have with sexuality in LTRs is that parts of the "dance" that just occur naturally when you interact with somebody new in a dating/mating situation are forgotten or neglected or skipped over.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Like what? A quick peck on the lips and a wink? Be flirty? what? I know, I'm pathetic.
Ok, you weren't asking me, but when I read this, what flashed into my head was: Look him in the eye (not with an intense, passionate staredown but just look and smile) and run your hand gently from his temple down his cheek to his jaw. Pause, smile, walk away.
I don't know if that's "bunny" enough. But it felt right. FWIW.
And have fun tonight.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
Like what? A quick peck on the lips and a wink? Be flirty? what? I know, I'm pathetic.
If you are "flirty" you are moving from bunny towards monkey. A wink is definitely a monkey gesture. A "quick peck" to me sounds more maternal (maybe your cow is a mother hen -lol). I recommend a sweet kiss and then tilt your head to the side and smile or whatever you might do naturally if some giant confident man stared/smiled down at you and said "You are prettier than a basket of speckled puppies." and petted your hair. You aren't pathetic. It is dead hard to do your part of the dance mostly solo, especially if it's been a long time since you've been out on the floor. It's so easy to fall into a casual androgyny in a modern relationship and it's not a bad thing generally but I think there has to be some sort of segue where the Baby X Overalls come off and some sexier costumes are donned before sexual tension can be created. What I am basically suggesting when I say you should put on your bunny costume before you put on your monkey costume is that you should signal "girl" before you signal "sex" or to give some specific examples, you would signal "school-girl" before you signaled "naughty or "librarian" before you signaled "sexy".
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
you should signal "girl" before you signal "sex" or to give some specific examples, you would signal "school-girl" before you signaled "naughty or "librarian" before you signaled "sexy".
Really? I think I normally signal "girl" to him, certainly not "sex", and it hasn't been helpful. Although I got all this:
Quote:
If you are "flirty" you are moving from bunny towards monkey. A wink is definitely a monkey gesture. A "quick peck" to me sounds more maternal (maybe your cow is a mother hen -lol). I recommend a sweet kiss and then tilt your head to the side and smile or whatever you might do naturally if some giant confident man stared/smiled down at you and said "You are prettier than a basket of speckled puppies." and petted your hair.
See, I just can't figure out my own animals. Maybe I think I am being bunny but I'm really being too much of a monkey/mother hen combo. (if you can picture that, lol). No wonder my H is confused.
But my zookeeping skills suck.