You were all right...unfortunately...

[bombardier50]

All,
I am very ambivalent to go to counseling, for all the reasons stated above. I know what she's after in counseling, and her goal is to fix me. I'm sure she thinks that if she could get me "off her back" about her relationship, she could continue her little fantasy. She even told me that when we go, I'd "better be truthful with the counselor about my insecurities." So there's no doubt that the whole impetus for this push to counseling is to put me in a straitjacket. That's the problem with these f___king emotional affairs. In her mind, "She hasn't done anything wrong. We're just friends." Her and Bill Clinton would make a great pair...

Unfortunately, I'm in a position where if I say no to MC, she'll use that as evidence for me not wanting to repair the M. So yes, I agree that the best approach now is to approach MC individually, and if the counselor is any good, that's how we'll start off anyway.

On the flip side, my S is very, very, very, trusting of the opinions of professionals in general. Any MC that's worth a damn is going to blow her little boat out of the water...which might be just what we need to get us past this. Of course, I know there's a good chance that our MC will be a complete bozo, in which case I might as well wait for the lawyer to call.

I like the Dobson article...rings pretty true.