No.. I read the entire thread. I'm a mid 20s male myself, and would say I have a unique insight as I'm currently in a very close situation.
When he originally started acusing you of the affair, how long prior to that had you begun refusing him sex or otherwise made yourself emotionally unavailable?
You're not justified. Stop telling yourself that.
It's not point, counter-point, tick for tack, that only makes the problem worse. And you seem unbelievable steadfast in your resolve to manipulate your husband into being what you want him to be.
While he wants sex, and that is in my opinion the number one reason hes distant, eratic and pissed at you, stop trying to manipulate him with it. Figure out *why* you don't want to have sex and focus on that.
Go read up and find out if you have nice guy syndrome (read: nice guys arn't all that nice, but they think they are)
