H didn't necessarily get physically violent with me...but verbally he sure did...only once did he shove me but in all honesty I shoved him first (mainly because he was standing there staggering trying to tell me that he hadn't been drinking...so I said if you haven't been drinking then why can I just push you over...and I gave him a shove...I should have known better)
The point is that as long as they are abusing any substance they are not going to be in their right mind...do the people who are trying to help from the church know of his pot use?...or his drinking till he passes out asleep?...if not I really do think you should talk to them and let them know...confidentially...so maybe they can ask H...get him to open up to them...this will do wonders in his own recovery...
I know how hard it is piecing...and wondering if your doing the right thing...I also know that when you have an H who is abusing alcohol and/or pot that it increases the stress level a lot...when H finally admitted that he was an alcoholic (they come in all forms...some don't drink that much...do some research for yourself on this) it was such a huge relief to me...then as the days went to weeks...and weeks to months...it really did aid my stress levels...and it really showed in our R and the recovery of us as a couple...
So I can't stress enough to you that really the success of your R/M depends probably more on his willingness to face his addictions then any other one factor!
