New to Piecing -- again

[cat03]

I go out with the girls still. I can't say I blame them, but it makes me feel badly that even now, with H moved back home, we don't get the "couple" invite.
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Don't they know how YOU feel now about your H? that you accept him and that you want to be happy with him? Perhaps back then you had girl talks/vents and they were all horrified at what he did and hated him *for you*. Do you talk about your H in good terms when you are with them? do they sence some unhappiness and that's why--maybe-- they think they are siding with you by not including him?

I personally would take offense at him not being invited, I would mention that you really miss doing the couples thing again to your girlfriends, in passing, not to put them on the spot but to let them know how alianating your H makes you sad, that you'd love to be included again.

My cousin (and confidant and crying shoulder during my separation) taught us (exteded family) how to treat her H. A few yrs ago he cheated on her while she was out of the country, runned up a huge cc bill, left the home to live with ow and wanted a D. In the end she forgave and took him back, sold her home and moved to an appt so they could pay his debt. We all thought she was right down crazy, what a stupid thing to do we all thought at the time, even her mom warned that she would not speak to her again if she went back with him. The first years it was ackward, the A and the whole mess came right up to our minds the moment we laid eyes on him when she invited us to their kids' b days. But what struck me was her attitude, she didnt' act contrite nor ashamed, she hugged him, was sweet and acted like nothing was wrong. And that made me think, if she can forgive him and move on and accept him there was no reason why I couldnt'.
It took a while, but eventually everyone put behind them what had happened and now we are all just fine with him. Because of what happened to her I was careful not to tell my family when my H left and had the 2 As, I knew my family wouldnt' forgive him in years if ever, to the 2 people I confided I was still careful of what I'd say.

I hope they are able to, in the future, accept him.

Glad you are pushing the snooping urges away, it will pay off, in the long run, you won't even feel like doing it anymore. Keep up the PMA, let it be your permantent state of mind.