To be honest there is nothing I can really say that brings this on, I think that what it boils down to is trust and belief. So many times I trusted him the past that he was true in his words, and he was working on the marriage, that now I just feel that its bound to happen again. I can't let myself truly believe that he is here and he is being straight with me. There just seems to be something inside of me now that will not allow me to really feel settled with him, and let my guard down truly. Any slight change in things, in the way he acts, sets me to believe that he is on his way out again, its funny I am not so much worried that he is with someone else, but that he just doesn't want me. I really do believe that what happened in October really did a number on me, seeing him say things like he did to another women has impacted me more then know he has had an affair, and just lately it seems to be on my mind more, I know at night in bed I really struggle with these thoughts! And so this is what is affecting me.
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
