You were all right...unfortunately...

[Dom R]

Me: "I'm eager to go to counseling to find out how we went of the tracks, but first, I need you to acknowledge that this has become more than just friends."

I think this is a huge mistake on your part.
I think that if she is truely willing to go to counselling, and truely WORK ON your marriage... that you should go.

Some people will fight tooth and nail to avoid admitting that what they are doing/have done is wrong.
If your wife is like that... you would be passing up on an opportunity to save your marriage, all for the sake of "scoring a point against her".

I completely understand where your feelings are, about wanting her to admit what she is doing is wrong, believe me.
Trouble is, your fight over that point, may degrade positive feelings between you, to where she becomes no longer willing to try counselling, and actually work at it.

Making that point isnt worth it in the larger picture, IMO.