Update: I want to Salavage my Marriage

[SuperDad]

Chris,
Funny, but I have the opposite issue. WAW still wears her wedding band (but not her engagement ring???). For a long while, it drove me nuts for a long time that she was still wearing it, with zero desire to work on improving our R.

Of course, now that I realize that this is all part of her inability to form an integrated Self at mid-life, it seems more sad than anything.

You can probably see your W's behavior in the same light. She wants to be your W, but also has somehow lost her true Self in the Persona of "Chris' Wife", her destructive behavior is most likely part of this search for her true Self. If a misguided one.

SD