Still trying - Not very well

[LoginName]

Hi Limbo,
Can you give some specifics of what doesn't feel right? If you can't say what's not right, how about what it looks like or how it feels?

I ask because in my experience we often have a feeling that is powerful but kind of vague. When we really look at it though, it's often something more concrete that is at the heart of the matter. For a simple example, I'll feel bad during the day, maybe down on myself, and a little paranoid. After really thinking about when the feeling started or why, I'll realize it's after a co-worker said an unkind remark to me. Seems like a little thing, but it was affecting my whole day. There are no "little" things. But after realizing what was really at the heart of my bad feelings, I could address it. Maybe, just maybe, that's what's happening to you. Your under lots of pressure, in a very tiring situation. It makes sense that things don't "feel" right.

But your M/R doesn't have to be the cause or the solution to your feeling right. Make yourself feel right. Better yet, allow yourself to feel right. Concentrate on you and how to make you better, happier, and to get what you need in life. Control what you can, let go of what you can't. That basically means be responsible for yourself and don't expect anyone, even your H, to make you feel better. Even in a perfect marriage, maybe especially in a perfect marriage, you can't expect the relationship or the spouse to give you happiness or satisfaction.

Let go of the guilt, or the negative feelings, of the anger, and focus on just you and your life. It's possible you and he are not right. Don't worry about it. Get yourself right.

I really don't know if this is true, and I haven't actually read Men are from Mars and women from Venus, but.... :-P I think women may have a harder time being selfish and really taking care of themselves. But I think you've got to do it. He has to take care of himself, no matter what happens, and so do you.

thinking of you, and wishing you the best.