Sleeper, Snodderley and other wise people have commented that fo most MLCers depression is the ongoing state during MLC - it becomes ACUTE during the final stages, often forcing the MLCer to address the issues [or vice versa - starting to address the issues deepens the depression, I am not sure, just stating what seems to happen from what people have posted]
My h was ALWAYS a glass half empty person, and was always subject to mild depression. He was depressed for a couple of years prior to the bomb, but wouldn't talk about it. The depression took the form of lethargy and occasional bursts of bad temper.
COvert depression is difficult to deal with. The affair, the spending and other behaviours are in part an attempt to self medicate for the depression. Some drink and do drugs. And yes I agree that they usually have an emotional relatinship with someone prety messed up. Negative emotional energy? Attraction to someone at the 'same ' emotional level? Plus only a pretty messed up person hangs around with a married man . . .
We seek to understand, and we have to detach from it all . . . for me understanding helps the detachment. I try not to be obssesive about it!!
