Forgot to mention. We always so to not reward bad behavior. OK, so what about "good" behavior? W's attorney told me that she has absolutely no money, and it's a big problem. So after the kids and I bought the rats & mice (plus got S10 some new shoes and clothes for his basketball team), I stopped by the grocery store W shops at and purchased $300 in gift cards. I put them in an envelope with $200 in cash and gave it to S10 (sealed) to give to W.
Thursday - I received a call from W on Thursday morning. I was absolutely shocked. Again, we don't talk, and given the restraining order thing, I'm nervous. She called to discuss a few things about the kids, and I'm just in awe that we are even talking. Nothing pissy was said, and it was actually productive. When the conversation was over, I said good-bye, and so did she. That is the first time she has even said good-bye to me in six months. What the hell?
Thursday afternoon, I got ANOTHER call from her. She said that the pharmacy made a mistake on her prescription and gave her the smallest quantity (because that is what she originally ordered since she had very little money), even though she asked them to increase it because I was willing to pay for it. The balance of it is now ready and she asked if I could go pay for it. Given that it is her anti-seizure medication, and she must have it, of course I agreed. I went down and paid for it ($450 total for this and the previous day's order). I called, got her voicemail, and said it is taken care of. Get this, when I went to pick up D8 and S6 (they are with me this week from Thursday after school until Friday going to school), S10 was there. He said the previous day that he enjoyed being with me, he wanted to spend the next night. I didn't think that was even a possibility, but now, here he is!!!! BTW, an email from just three days previous, from W to her attorney, responding to my request to spend a day with S10, basically said I was to have, in her words, NO contact with him and the matter will not re-addressed. Now this??? I'll take it! We had a great night. The kids called W and said they wanted to have the rodents with them at my house that evening, and to my shock, she agreed to bring them over. We do the pick/up & drop/off at the local supermarket, but now she was bringing the pets not to my house, but said she'd drop them off a couple doors down, which she did. You have no idea how surprised I was by this.
Also on Thursday, I got an email from W's attorney, written by her, responding to an email of mine talking about the co-parent counseling. I said there is another appointment set up for next Tuesday, and if she would like, she can have it all by herself and I won't even show up. (the counselor wants to meet with her separately anyway). She said she called the counselor's office, and is going to go at a different time. BUT SHE'S GOING!!. Yeah, I know, don't make too much of it.
Friday, I take the kids to school, but now I have all the pets and cages. I didn't really want to call W, but didn't really have a choice. The logistics of this need to get worked out. We decided that I will pick up D8 and S6 from school, and she will pick them up at the same corner by my house, along with the cages, at 3:30 (I get an extra 30 minutes with kids, which is cool). OK, she gets there two minutes early, just as I was walking up with a cage. I was just going to leave the kids and cages at the corner, then I'd stand back at my house (50 yards) and watch them so I know all is OK. Well, there I am, rat cage in hand, she stops the car, gets out, doesn't seem upset that I'm near her (first time in over six months), and actually talks to me! Nicely!! She let me know that she had to spend $180 of the $200 I gave her on another prescription, but not in such a way she was expecting to get it back. Probably. Anyway, I tell her I'm happy to pay for her prescriptions, but I only have $55 on me, so I give it to her. She makes a point of getting the pharmacy receipt out of her car to show me she actually paid the money, I tell her that's not necessary and that I believe her, but she wants me to see it anyway. I acknowledge it let her know that I'll get her the $125 balance in about an hour. She and the kids are going to S10's basketball practice at the school (across the street from my house), and I tell her that I'll call her cell phone when I'm outside the gym (so I don't have to go in and be near her) so D8 can come get it. Oh, I also reach into one of the kids backpacks and hand her an envelope with $300 in gift cards to Target, she she shops for a lot of the household supplies. She was pretty surprised by this. When I get back to the school, instead of having her $125 in an envelope, I put in $500. I also wrote on the envelope that I will take care of her rent for next month while we work out the financials.
Sunday - I get a call from D8 (which is rare in itself). She asks if I can take her and S6 to go see Alvin and the Chipmunks. What? I ask her if mommy said this is OK, and she says yes. We haven't broken the prescribed visitation schedule in six months, now this. She even says mommy will drop them off at the corner near my house. So now she's more comfortable coming closer. OK..... And guess what? S10 is with them as well! He's pissed by the way, because he and W got into an arguement. I immediately get his spirits up, and off we go. Had a bit to eat while waiting for the movie, and when it was over, I dropped them off at the same pharmacy I get her prescriptions, because it is near where she lives (even though she doesn't know that I know where she lives) and it was more convenient for me, because I wasn't going back to my house anyway.
One more thing, her birthday is Monday and it took the kids out shopping and D8 and S6 each picked out a present, then I picked out one from S10. I wrapped them and put them in a large bag and the kids put it in her car on Friday when we exchanged the rodents...... I couldn't let her b-day pass without the kids being able to give her a small present and cards.
I'm not going to get trapped in the thought that maybe something is shifting in her. She offered the olive branch of having S10 be with me before I started giving her any money.
