Still hopeful for some pleasant surprises

[Trixi]

When I walked out the door I said - we have to sell this house. The next day she called and asked me to go to MC. I agreed not to force the sale of the house on that condition. We got off to a slow start - she delayed selecting a counselor, she delayed on choosing a date. Finally the day came. I reacted emotionally in the first session. She never went back. 2 weeks later she advised me she was filing for divorce. 2 weeks after that I received the papers. Now (1 week later) I am again telling her we need to sell the house. Again she is delaying.

and then

In some small ways I see glimmers of hope. She invited me to a family dinner the other night. First time in 2 months we ate together. She pointed out that she hasn't had a drink in 2 weeks (I hadn't asked).

I think she is manipulating you. When you get strong and firm with her (atom bomb like) she all of a sudden wants to do MC. You back off of your stance and then she isn't interested in MC. You start talking about getting a condo and needing to sell, and now she "isn't drinking" and is inviting you to dinner.

I hope I am wrong; I hope that she will continue to make baby steps towards you--but from out here (with admitedly very limited information) it appears that when you actually start to threaten to take away the gravy train, she does *just* enough to get you to back off.

It seems to me that a really rude wake up call is what is in order. Not a soft nudging of what is coming down the pike, but a LOAD banging and clanging of what is happening this SECOND. If she has learned that the promise of MC and a family dinner will keep you at bay, she won't really "worry" about the slow train that is coming towards her, because thus far, she can make the train stop in it's tracks.