not a peep

[MaxP]

Of course those left behind often get labelled as having unrealistic expectations, almost of being inhibited and boring, rather than people who recognise that at times Rs require real effort to make them great. Out of interest is your H an only child?

Interesting point about the inhibited and boring. I've been accused of that before.

H is the youngest of two. Growing up he was very spoiled. He has always been cute and charming and has definitely used that to his advantage. And when he didn't get his way, he would just throw a fit until he did.

Oh, ok, that theory doesn't fit then. I think that only children can be slightly more prone to thinking about themselves than people with siblings - or it can go the other way. Perhaps they tend to extremes.

I used to be cute and charming and then I became a teenager. I think that's where your H has gone wrong.

For now, I will stick with the idea of doing the Christmas thing together. I will also give myself "permission" to change my mind.

Absolutely Trixi. Do what you want for a change. Reserve the right to change your mind and be a total pain in the backside. I hope you have really, really great time.

I stopped by my old office and was talking with one of my friends there and we had a really good talk. She went thru a sort of "string along" relationship for 3 years. The guy would say very similar thing to what my H is saying. A couple months ago, she met someone off of yahoo personals. Long story short- they are living together and quite happy. She told me that she didn't believe she could do better than the crumbs she was getting, but meeting this new guy has opened her eyes. Anyway, it gave me hope.

I guess we have to remember that our S are only one person in a few billion options. They may have felt like they are all we need in the journey through life but when they treat us badly there's no shame in thinking about the future. It's awful to have to start again (I can't stand the thought of it), but I know you, I and almost everyone here can do it and be happier too, having learnt so much from each other. Lest we forget of course. I guess this is what your wise friend is saying.

Max, I am like you, I read entire books before doing the exercises--I have to admit I don't normally go back to do them. Are you really going to go back thru the book and do the exercises?

Errrm, maybe?