The End or Just a Begining?

[PhD_ChrisD]

Hey Atlas,

I took me a while to read through your sitch and cogitate. I find it hard to believe that your W is a C given how she acts. I feel sorry for those whom she counsels!

As you pointed out, we are both in similar circumstances. Luckily, I do not have the overhead of an PA. However, if you rememer over the summer, my W was doing a great deal of innapropriate behavior over the Internet. Now, she is off the Internet (I also disconnected it) but she is doing the bar-fly thing now. We are going to C so I think that helps. She is keeping her agreements to me and I to her. I am positive for us.

Now my observations for your sitch (my two cents, FWIW):
1) Get the D, my friend, as fast as you can. You need a safe/sane R, not something that makes you nuts. I like the bulldozer analogy. If that safe/sane R is with her, then great, if not, then with someone else. In either case, your partner should treat you well, not like a doormat.

I know the arguments are "she can reopen the case", "we could still reconcil", "I love her", etc. All true. Still needs to be done. Cut the rope before she drags you down further.

2) Be good to yourself. All of these months of dealing with things can take its toll. I sense a great deal of stress and frustration. I bet getting away from your W will help alleviate some (if not all) of this.

3) I am courious as to how your son is coping? Did you and W have "the talk" with him separatley or together? He doing ok with school, other kids, etc.? How is his behavior in general? It appears to me that your WAW pretty much kicked him to the curb. My heart goes out to him and to you.

Best,
--Chris