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Originally Posted By: lizzy
H has a history of helping needed women in our 22 years. I know that history needs to end if we are ever to get back together.


I can identify with your H on that topic - When my self-esteem is really low, it seems easier to spend time with someone who is really needy and pathetic, than someone who is more headstrong and independent (like my W).

He probably thinks he's a piece of crap right now, and some loser who can't function on her own is the best he can handle.

#1297525 12/16/07 06:13 PM
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I think it's the opposite for my H. I think he is the needy one in his R with OW. She is 39 (10 yrs older than he is) and probably going thru her own MLC). He seems to be the one chasing her.

Sorry about the rain Lizzy. We are being dumped on here. H came to shovel and it's going to have to be done again soon.
Looks like we've gotten more than a foot of snow in the last 12 - 18 hrs and it's still coming strong!

J~


M 35
H 29
M 4 yrs T 9 yrs
D 3
S born 10/19/07
Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day
OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08
Status - still figuring this out
#1297664 12/16/07 10:53 PM
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lizzy Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: BritInOH
Originally Posted By: lizzy
H has a history of helping needed women in our 22 years. I know that history needs to end if we are ever to get back together.


I can identify with your H on that topic - When my self-esteem is really low, it seems easier to spend time with someone who is really needy and pathetic, than someone who is more headstrong and independent (like my W).

He probably thinks he's a piece of crap right now, and some loser who can't function on her own is the best he can handle.


He sure is acting like a piece of crap right now. I'm am so tired of the two Bi*#%es he calls his support system. While he was looking at our furnace that stopped running today one of them sends a fricking text. I know they have to know his every move because he is in constant contact with the 2Bs. WTF that they can't let him alone while he is here. He did find me sitting on the kitchen floor after crying. I can't take much more between this crap, work and the holidays. H will be taking Ds to his mom's if the heat doesn't come on.

Last edited by lizzy; 12/16/07 10:53 PM.

Me: 41
H: 42
DDs: 10 & 15
M: 19yrs.
Bomb: June 2007
Separated:10/28/07
previous threads
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1270987&page=5&fpart=1

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Originally Posted By: JennyF
I think it's the opposite for my H. I think he is the needy one in his R with OW. She is 39 (10 yrs older than he is) and probably going thru her own MLC). He seems to be the one chasing her.

Sorry about the rain Lizzy. We are being dumped on here. H came to shovel and it's going to have to be done again soon.
Looks like we've gotten more than a foot of snow in the last 12 - 18 hrs and it's still coming strong!

My H is needed too. Right now I don't think he could live without those two losers.

We ended up getting more snow. I cleaned the drive while H was at the game. I was feeling good about doing that myself until he got home and started treating me like an incovinence that he can't get rid of.

J~


Me: 41
H: 42
DDs: 10 & 15
M: 19yrs.
Bomb: June 2007
Separated:10/28/07
previous threads
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1270987&page=5&fpart=1

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I really screwed up the reply above. I meant to reply to Jenny saying that not only does H flock w/ needy woman, but he is also needy himself. If he wasn't, he wouldn't be in contact w/ them so much.

I am so POed that I need H's help w/ the furnace. I'm also POed that we have to spend the night at MILs. I would much rather stay w/ my family or friends, but they are too far w/ Ds having school tomorrow. I wish I knew school was going to be closed tomorrow. Then I would pack up and go.

I was having a good day. I made two batches of cookies for Christmas.

I went out to blow the drive since H told me last night the blower was working. Thought that meant he wouldn't be doing it for me. When H talked to D15 and she told him I was doing it he said good luck. Guess he didn't think I could do it. Didn't say a word to me about doing it.

Right now I am feeling so drained emotionally and physically. I really need a postive. The 2 Bs aka the EAs getting lost in the snowstorm would be a good start.


Me: 41
H: 42
DDs: 10 & 15
M: 19yrs.
Bomb: June 2007
Separated:10/28/07
previous threads
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1270987&page=5&fpart=1

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Lizzy...I too hope OW is lost in the snow somewhere!!!


M 35
H 29
M 4 yrs T 9 yrs
D 3
S born 10/19/07
Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day
OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08
Status - still figuring this out
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Originally Posted By: lizzy

He sure is acting like a piece of crap right now. I'm am so tired of the two Bi*#%es he calls his support system. While he was looking at our furnace that stopped running today one of them sends a fricking text. I know they have to know his every move because he is in constant contact with the 2Bs. WTF that they can't let him alone while he is here. He did find me sitting on the kitchen floor after crying. I can't take much more between this crap, work and the holidays. H will be taking Ds to his mom's if the heat doesn't come on.


Do they know he was with you? Probably not. I'm quite sure he lies to them about you as much as he does you about them.

I can see how frustrating it is becoming. I'd have just called someone to fix the furnace and not worried about having him work on it. Have you tried doing something different as an experiment to see how he responds? Sounds like he's enjoying the 'on the fence' life.

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I ended up staying at MILs w/ the Ds. H is having furnace looked at today. I couldn't take off of work. H is really busy at work too, but we were told to get a new furnace months ago and oh well. I am hoping it can be fixed because I really don't want a new furnace for Christmas. I am also hoping I'll be able to sleep at my house today. I see what it is like for H having to pack up and stay elsewhere, but I didn't ask for this.


Me: 41
H: 42
DDs: 10 & 15
M: 19yrs.
Bomb: June 2007
Separated:10/28/07
previous threads
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1270987&page=5&fpart=1

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H ended up taking care of the furnace and we now have heat. I'm actually glad he did it. Apparently the repairman who told me early in the year that I needed a new furnace tried to take advantage of me. H got it fixed today for a couple of hundred $. I guess he could have been an A--h--- and told me to take care of it myself. It feels good to know he will still do things for me although I do want to start doing more on my own.

D10 had a bad concert tonight. H picked us up and drove us. I was really happy about that because I had low expectations and thought he would drive seperately. We sat together and talked and joked. Then H spent an hour or so at the house after we got home. He was in a very good mood and seemed to enjoy being with us. I need to keep my expectations low so I'm not upset if our next interaction isn't as positive.


Me: 41
H: 42
DDs: 10 & 15
M: 19yrs.
Bomb: June 2007
Separated:10/28/07
previous threads
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1270987&page=5&fpart=1

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Quote:
D10 had a bad concert tonight.


I hope you meant a band concert!! Or is your D not that good??
LOL!

Glad your interactions have been positive.
J~

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