Hey Y'all. I know, it's been a while. Actually maybe close to a months since i last posted.

QuickSitch for those who don't know...

January, I brought up divorce (WAW)

February ~ Tell H about an E-OM. Daily desparate discussions on saving the R. I'm not buying, H is getting more and more depressed and angry because I wont try. H moved out for a week, then back home, and I start sleeping in our daughter's bed. H spits in face, cops are called. H calls me horrid names, is basically falling apart at the seams. H apologizes, but to no avail. I see lawyer, H sees lawyer. H's parents start pulling on H really hard to cut his losses.

March ~ More daily discussions, more parental involvement, less and less hope. H's parents essentially LIE to H, telling him that I told their other daughter-in-law that this R was 100% over. H's folks speculate that I've given H 6 months to change because I want a babysitter and want to stay in this house, and because I don't want H to take kids to thier house for the summer. All of those things are false. ABSOLUTELY/POSITIVELY FALSE!!!! I'm giving H a chance because he deserves a chance. He deserves to take this knowledge gained through these discussions and do something with it. My kids deserve it, and so do I, dang-it.

Today ~ I came back on this board to get with the WAW's who came back, and the men and women who have done something positive with thier "chance". H needs love. I need love. But there are SO many things to overcome. There is SO much work to do. And, when H doesn't do his part, or when he starts acting out old behaviors I get SO frustrated and angry. AND I feel like if I don't start showing him "affection" and start acting "happy", then he'll just up and leave anyway. I feel like he's asking me to lay down and take some more. I know, consciously, he doesn't even know what he's doing to convey this to me. I need to be patient, and to wait wait wait for his enlightenment.

In the meantime, what can I do? What can I do to keep up my part in this. I don't want to ever sell myself short again, but I feel like a witch in doing so.


















p.s. - WillWin ~ nice sig change LostLove ~ thanks for checking in on me, too.