No he didn't.. I actually caught a glance from W to OM... she looked as though she was saying "Sorry". I could care less... I was making everyone laugh and having a good time.
Not out of line... I've actually been struggling with that. What do I do if she asks for a kiss.. what do I do if things turn intimate?
Part of me says tow the line I laid out before.. part of me says let her experience (bad choice of words) what she is missing.
At this point, I'd probably go through with it and see what the fallout is. I know this though.. she would have to initiate. I'm not going to. Don't want to be blamed for anything of that matter.
To be honest... I've gotten back to "pre-kid" me. That sounds bad, but life definitely was running me. I was stressed about many things and let it affect me and the family. There were equal issues there, but I take my part for not being "the leader" of the family. I'm more relaxed (for the most part), I'm having fun. I truly do enjoy being by myself. I gave up most of what I was and did for my M. I know now that I have to get some of that back and keep it to keep me happy.
Working out was another big thing.. I feel better about myself.. not to sound cocky, but I was pretty happy with me in that area anyway. Except for the mystery 30/10. I tried running outside again.. One of the top reasons I got out of the Corps. I did OK, but I will be getting a treadmill for the new year. If I can rid myself of the spare tire, I will be a very confident individual.
I do still have one major area I need to work on that would be beneficial for me as well as any possibility for reconciliation. Finances.. I've always been horrible at finances and this has definitely not helped. I've got a few opportunities coming up that will help me get things back on track, but I have to be sure and execute them properly. Unfortunately, I also need to push for the separation agreement to help with finances as well. I've shouldered the whole load and it isn't pretty. Again, my fault, but W definitely had some play there as well.
That's the one area that if I can get myself on track and start doing the things I want/need to do, I will truly be in a better place regardless.
Fortunately, it will time up with the new year and I can make that a New Year's resolution!!
The other thing I WAS proud of was quitting smoking. I had actually quit before all of this (which was another area of resentment.. I quit then she quits!!), but I've recently backslid on that. I've already got the prescription to do Chantix again (I recommend this to ANYONE who wants to quit... it works as long as you can mentally do it!!) so that will be back on track again soon.
Long post!!
I have my company kickoff in mid-January.. that should be fun. Our regional VP has promised that if the region makes it's number (which I believe we have) our 1st Q meeting will be in a warm place. I'll be buff and looking good for that meeting!!
