OK, maybe I'm the only idiot here, but what does "skype" mean?
Bomb, I know it's frightening, but this is all "script," I can assure you. Of COURSE she is going to get furious, you've spoiled all of her FUN!!! My wife was livid when her boyfriend's parents got a letter from me, and again when I talked to HER parents to expose her affair. They scream like a devil with holy water poured on them. Good. It means you've hit a nerve, and absolutely means that they are NOT "just friends" (even tho, as you now know, EAs are still As, and still constitute "infidelity.")
I would not have confronted OM (never did in my sitch, altho I REALLLLLLY wanted to), but what's done is done. What you DO need to do is expose to OM's wife, and I mean today. She has a right to know, and you might as well do it while you're wife is livid anyway.
Simultanous detonations, man -- it's easier on you that way, and harder for the infidels to do damage control and "get their story straight" before they figure you're going to the next target in line.
If your wife gives you the "I can't help you with your insecurities again," I would say "I'm sorry that you feel like it's 'insecure' for a man to fight for his wife and family. You need to end your affair, immediately, and I will gladly work on ALL of what you feel are my 'issues' with you."
I had to do this -- keep bringing her back to the affair -- with my wife probably no less than 50 times. And she went NUTS whenever I used the "a-word." Call a spade a spade, and pray to God for strength to deal with the fallout. As NOP likes to say, "Never shelter an infidel from the consequences of their actions." You need to -- every time -- point out to her how such unpleasantries are the direct result of her decision to have an affair.
This doesn't have to always sound "mean" by the way (altho most times, I was very firm with it). Once, when my wife was horrified and ashamed that a friend of ours had heard of her affair, and my wife had to hear it from her, I said softly "Honey, I'm sorry you had to hear that -- that must've been hard. Unfortunately it's to be expected as a result of the poor choice you made."
But this was ONLY after she had ended it. Until your wife does, do not coddle her. Be firm, but loving. Fight for her in a way that does tolerate her continued infidelity and disrespect.
