My H always though I as quite flirty but I didn't/don't think I am. It's different on the PC with absolute strangers you are never going to meet and who know you are joking, (like this site), but in real life I don't think I flirt. However I do find other people intersting and I think sometimes other people misread that interest - I have had problems from time to time with unwanted attentions - even from the same sex!!!!!!!!!!!!
It can be a problem the closer you are to a person because you don't want to hurt their feelings and with most people that do overstep the boundaries you probably need to be quite firm to settle things. I made the mistake with my H's sister's H of not being hard enough with him when he kept trying it on with me. I did tell my H what was going on all the time and we thought we dealt with it diplomatically but it came back and bit us and now we no longer have interaction with that side of the family. At least my H knew I was telling the truth all along. I can say quite truthfully that although I have had these attentions from others on occasions I have NEVER had any desire to act on them.
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Well, I'm in a world of hurt here. She was absolutely furious that I confronted the OM. It was almost like she was jealous that I even had a conversation with him, which tells me a lot. Her exact words: "Don't make me choose between him and me!" I couldn't believe she said that. I just stared at her, dumfounded.
I don't think this is going to go on much longer. I think she's ready to walk...
Me: 51 W: 50 M 24 yrs EA: since Apr 06 S22, S26, S28 ILYBNILWY:Nov 07
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden
I had a week of behaviour like that Bombardier and that was after H told me about the A. OW even had a love nest set up. Don't assume anything and stick to your guns.
Reality is a LOT different to fantasy - your W might not have a choice - OM might not be interested now this is all open. What has OM's W said?
(((((((((HUGS))))))))
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Well, I'm in a world of hurt here. She was absolutely furious that I confronted the OM. It was almost like she was jealous that I even had a conversation with him, which tells me a lot. Her exact words: "Don't make me choose between him and me!" I couldn't believe she said that. I just stared at her, dumfounded.
I don't think this is going to go on much longer. I think she's ready to walk...
Bomber,
Sorry to hear of your hurt. I'm going to re-post something that Nop originally posted:
She WILL get angry when you expose her affair. If you can't handle her anger, then you don't need to be listening to me. She will get over it eventually.
Of course she is going to get angry! It's out in the open now..funs over!
"Don't make me choose between him and me" hmmmm...isn't this "best friend" of yours got a little problem on his hands as well? Or should I say "hand"...as in left hand...ring finger??? This whole little thing might have been fun for him on the side, but how does he really feel about breaking up his marriage to pursue this further? Or does he have a spare room in his house for your wife to move in with them? Sure his wife would be thrilled for that.
Hang in there Bomber...stick to your guns...keep working on yourself! She's gonna do what she's gonna do. Show her how much your marriage means to you by standing up to this and not waver.
Last night during dinner, my spouse tried to drag me into a "relationship' discussion. Totally out of the blue, she tells me "I can't help you with your insecurities." I ignored her comment and gently changed the subject. Later on, after I went to bed, she decided to skype with the OM. She doesn't realize that I can hear everything downstairs. The OM was actually very good...he cut the conversation off after a few minutes.
This morning before she left for work, she asked if I had talked to the OM. I said yes. You could tell that she was furious. She stormed out the door and went to work.
What a mess...
Me: 51 W: 50 M 24 yrs EA: since Apr 06 S22, S26, S28 ILYBNILWY:Nov 07
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden
Later on, after I went to bed, she decided to skype with the OM. She doesn't realize that I can hear everything downstairs. The OM was actually very good...he cut the conversation off after a few minutes.
This morning before she left for work, she asked if I had talked to the OM. I said yes. You could tell that she was furious. She stormed out the door and went to work.
hmmm...Yup, starting to sound like maybe the fun might be over. Do not, Do not, DO NOT fall into the sobby, pleading stage with her. It does not really pertain to dealing with affairs...but more with dealing and improving yourself...if you haven't already, get and read the book so often repeated on here - "No More Mr. Nice Guy" Many of us on here have read it... good stuff.
So how's the weather? Any hobbies you're working on today? Oh, your're working out later...Great! Life will go on buddy, and you will be ok.
Wait, I should clarify. I'm not thinking of moving out. I was thinking way ahead...post-divorce. I'm the plan-ahead type.
The weather here sucks today. Nasty sleet, snow, ice storm. Normally, she wouldn't drive to work in this, so I know she's pissed.
Today I'll shovel the drive, clean my bathroom, do some laundry, work out, watch a little football, and mentally prepare for the return home of my deluded spouse.
IF she comes home.
Me: 51 W: 50 M 24 yrs EA: since Apr 06 S22, S26, S28 ILYBNILWY:Nov 07
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden
