Thankyou Micheal and Sue for your kind words. This site has been extremely helpful and comforting to hear from people who know what I am going through. I felt that the affair was a fantasy - that he was living a fantasy with this OW - he was away from the domestic mundane routine of day to day when living with someone - the chores, the house, the child and he was leading the single life and only seeing the OW at her best. I though pretty soon he will hit reality the single life wont be that great and miss his home and us and everything that goes with being a family. But to realize he is living with her was a very difficult blow. She has a child too - its like we have been replaced already me and my D. That he has chosen to live with the OW and her child instead of his own D. To think they are sleeping in the same bed every night and do all the things you do when you live with someone - its just very hard. Now he wants over night visitation with my D at his new apartment. How do you do that? How do you turn your child over to a woman who helped destroy your family. I cant believe the OW will be in my D's life. We are not even officially separated.My lawyer says there is nothing I can do about it if he denied the relationship and she does too and there is no evidence other than "roommates". I tried AD's in 9/07 - in fact I switched meds sev times becuase nothing seemed to help - either I could not sleep and was extremely anxious only to be put on something that would bring me too far down. Then my family urged me to talk to someone - I saw a pschiatrist for 2 sessions - mentioned sometimes I can hear my husband around the house after 20 years and she thought I was suffering from paranoia and put me on something very strong which I did not like the effect. I went off it immed. My husband found out I was on meds and told his lawyer. H has always been anti therapy and meds - thinks you are weak if you do that - H is twisted in alot of his thinking I am very reluctant to try anything else since I has such a bad exp. There are days where I feel like I can move on and then someething happens - either a letter from lawyer or contact with him or finding out new info. -such as hes living with her - just when I think maybe I can move on I get a punch in the stomach. I want to go dark but you cant when you are in the middle of a law suit and have to have contact because of child. I really think if I did not hear from him by email of anything for awhile I would be ok.
