Stub, aside from quibbling about the "attacking" wording, the message remains the same. Whether you are confrontational or just holding it inside, it has the same effect, you are unhappy! I know how hard it is because as you said, I lived it too. I guess the dif is my S was carrying on with NO intention of stopping, she wasn't saying "trust me" she was saying "screw you". The only way I could stay sane was not to focus on her times with OP. I didn't have the option to choose to trust or not, it was happening whether I liked it or not. I chose not to like it but to put my focus elsewhere, usually on developing myself and a life outside the M. You need to do this too, because the less you focus on your fear, which is that she is remaining unfaithful, the more empowered you become. Now, that said, if you find that is just not possible and we each have our own tolerance level, then you may have to put it to her "it's our R or the OP, you decide" That would be the last resort but you gotta do what you gotta do. I don't know how it would turn out but I do know that's the route I took but I was ready for it to end. It's up to you, so you do have choice here! Choose carefully and then focus on getting your life back for Stub, with or without your S. Again, I do know how hard this is, I really do.
