My H started the subject with me. He got them for Thanksgiving, which didn't matter to me. I moved to his town and away from my family. He brought them back at about 5:00 and the girls and I then drove to my parents (5 hours) and we spent the weekend.
H knows that Christmas morning is important to me so he offered for them to stay here. He wanted them at about 11:00 to go to his parents for dinner. I told him 1:00 would be better and he was fine with that. He also knew that early mass on Christmas Eve was important to me but wanted to know if they wanted to come out to his parents after that. I spoke to the girls and they didn't want to go (mostly because they don't care for menu on Christmas Eve). They want to stay home and have pizza and make gingerbread houses so that is what we will do (new tradition).
My advice is to put aside what you want and what your W wants. What is in the best interest of the children? What do they want? These are the two questions that I ask myself before I do anything or say anything to H about anything.
Anned - I agree - it is hard to get into the spirit. But again, it is important to the girls, so I am doing what they want.
H has asked for some gift suggestions which I gave him. But we will do it separate. I had considered asking him to join us in the morning or for mass, but I won't now. My D13 told me that she thinks that he will come home. He is nowhere near the end of the tunnel. I don't want to send her a confusing message or a wrong message by having him here. She will get her hopes up and will be crushed if dream doesn't come true.
So that will be our Christmas. I expect some tears, but mostly smiles.
